Thoughts From the Porch: Merry Christmas to all! I was somewhat disappointed to miss the sunrise on Christmas morning. Festivities at the Joel household kept everyone up late so everyone is sleeping in today. Aside from an occasional car on the far-off freeway, all is quiet and still this morning. Even the birds are silent this morning.
Christmas in Texas is unpredictable. I threw my coat on to come out to the porch, only to remove it before enjoying the solitude. I guess the winter weather is coming tomorrow. A high temperature in the sixties beats a white Christmas and snow shovels any day…Everything eventually began stirring. Margaret is up, the birds seem to have decided it was late enough to start singing wildly. The couple next has ten kids, so need I say more. I can’t imagine what Christmas morning must look like for them. I took advantage of the arising commotion to get ready to go out for breakfast with my oldest son, my firstborn. Time alone with one of my boys is the best gift anyone could ever receive. He works long and hard, so time together is cherished.
I came home, called several folks to wish them Merry Christmas, and sat for a long time in quiet reflection. It was one of those moments of overwhelming gratitude and awe. Although I’ve become more adept at allowing myself to feel and to cry if necessary, I fought back the onslaught of tears of gratitude. How does someone like me get to live the life I live today?
My son, Adrian, and I talked about Christmases past, about family, and about our future. Christmas hasn’t always held fond memories for my boys. My addiction interfered with so many holidays I can understand why they’re not that “special” to my kids. I took advantage of the opportunity to own my part and continue making amends for my past actions to the best of my ability. Unfortunately, I don’t get “do-overs”. I don’t get to change the past, but I do get to change the future. I’m so thankful for God’s love and mercy, but it becomes more tangible when it’s extended by my kids.
I hope that you each have a wonderful Christmas and a very happy holiday season. I hope you each find the special joy the season brings. I pray that serenity and joy follow you in to the New Year and that it be filled with the blessing of just being one of God’s kids – loved beyond imagination and loving others the same.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Fort Worth, y’all!