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Ash Wednesday

This past Wednesday, Ash Wednesday, marked the start of Lent. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, “Lent. noun. ˈlent. : a period of fasting and regret for one’s sins that is observed on the 40 weekdays from Ash Wednesday to Easter by many churches.” It’s a time when Christians are to focus on the Three Pillars of Lent: prayer, fasting, and “almsgiving” – which can best be summed up as compassion. Great things for believers but I grew up in one of the churches that didn’t celebrate Lent, or anything else on the church liturgical calendar for that matter.

When I was exposed to other folks that participated in Lent, I had to look it up to find out what it was. It sounded kind of trite to me. You know, give something up for forty days. That was no big deal. Anyone could do that. Besides, we don’t celebrate those things that aren’t mentioned in the Bible, right?

It wasn’t until I was in college that I began to broaden my theological (and socio-political) horizons. I’m told that rebellion (which is one of the few things I excelled at) was essential for turning one’s religious values from those of one’s parents into one’s that are personal. It was a rather lengthy process for me – forty-nine years and counting – to come to very real, very deep understanding of my relationship to God and my fellows – to make my faith my own.

I no longer attend church regularly. When I do (which is quite infrequently) it’s usually somewhere I’ve been asked to go with friends or the A.M.E. church Ms. Opal attends. I’ve come to believe that my real church lives in recovery rooms, many places of worship, and in nature, especially the farm. It’s where I can get centered and act compassionately on a daily basis – serving others and the common good. That’s what Jesus meant by loving God and loving your neighbor as yourself.

Photo by Pro Church Media on Unsplash

Though I don’t attend regularly I’ve come to celebrate the liturgical calendar far more than I ever did. I celebrate Advent, Christmas, Easter, and an awareness of others, but honestly, I’ve never got the Lent thing down. Those three pillars they talk about are things I try to incorporate into my daily life (well, not so much the fasting…). However, I do read Lenten devotionals to start my day during this time. I read one recently that gave me a new perspective on Lent.

It was a sermon by one of my favorite authors and pastors, Diane Butler Bass. She talked about “practicing the cross”. Practicing the resurrection is what Easter’s always meant to me, but practicing the cross – living prayer, fasting, and compassion – was the way of Jesus on his journey to the crucifixion. “Practicing” was a way of becoming more centered, more loving, and more like the Rabbi I try to follow.

I can get with that, and forty days of intense practice makes it more likely I can become more of the human being I want to be.

“By practicing our faith, we actually become all the things we promise to be in our baptism vows, we become citizens of the Kingdom of God, the radical followers who embody the beloved community that Jesus proclaimed.” – Diane Butler Bass

This year, Lent takes on a new meaning for me, starting with Ash Wednesday – a reminder that I too, will return to the ashes and dust God made this human body out of. It reminds me that the values I practice through daily prayer and meditation will translate to right action that has positive effects on the world I presently walk in. It also reminds me that I haven’t reached a goal, an end point. I still need to practice, and I will make a lot of mistakes. Then I just practice some more…

“When you practice some kind of appetite-denying discipline to better concentrate on God, don’t make a production out of it. It might turn you into a small-time celebrity, but it won’t make you a saint. If you “go into training” inwardly, act normal outwardly. Shampoo and comb your hair, brush your teeth, wash your face. God doesn’t require attention-getting devices. He won’t overlook what you’re doing; he’ll reward you well. Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or – even worse – stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasures in heaven, where it’s safe from moths and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being there.” Matthew 6:16-21 (The Message)

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Enough is Enough

I sat on the porch this morning drinking coffee and soaking in the morning. It’s been sprinkling off and on all morning but not enough to keep the mockingbirds and the doves from their vibrant singing and cooing. It’s been unseasonably cool and overcast this morning, but the birds reminded me Spring is really here.

It’s times like these I see how blessed I am. I most certainly don’t deserve it. I spent most of my life making poor choices and living the way addiction dictated how I live. It wasn’t until almost twenty years ago that I finally surrendered, choosing life, and living in the Spirit as best I can. I haven’t been wealthy – this is not another “Prosperity Gospel” tale – but I’ve always had enough. Enough truly is enough…

I was speaking with a friend the other day. They have lived a life of escaping poverty. They grew up in the rural Midwest where the average income was less than ten thousand dollars a year (substantially less) and they didn’t even have electricity for many years of their young life. It’s still difficult for me to remember that there were (and are) people who lived like that in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. As a result, they spend time worrying about never having enough and the fear of losing what they have.

I have also lived in poverty in the past, but mine was of my own making. It was something I never imagined growing up in an upper middle-class home in the suburbs. The fear and constant looking over my shoulder and harming the very ones I loved was something I never intended, but it became more real as my addiction progressed. I often fail to understand the trauma that comes with poverty forced on someone by birthplace and circumstance. I can’t pretend to know the fear that comes with falling back into such a state. I can, however, be present to the reality of my friend.

I believe that has led to so much introspection over the last few weeks. Most of the fear has been removed through my years of recovery. I’m no longer confused. As Brennan Manning says, “Everything is grace.” I have what I have, not because of my own efforts, but because God has graciously provided enough – enough of life’s necessities so I can share and be of service to those around me. I work hard because I have something to offer the world around me. As such, it’s become much easier to live in the world and to be present.

Photo by Hugo Magalhaes on Pexels.com

Saint Francis said, “Above all the grace and gifts that Christ gives to his beloved is that of overcoming self.” It constantly amazes me when I find joy in driving in rush hour traffic because the bluebonnets and other wildflowers are in full bloom along the side of the freeway. When I let go of who I think I am, both when I have an over-inflated ego or tell myself I’m the scum of the Earth – I’m free to acknowledge what a loving God thinks of me. I see the God lives in everything that surrounds me.

“We have very little, so we have nothing to be preoccupied with. The more you have, the more you are occupied, the less you give. But the less you have, the more free you are.”

– Mother Teresa

As I sit at my desk writing this morning, I have four dogs sleeping all around my feet. Ricky and Lucy – the “twins” have exhausted themselves playing together. Jameson is laid across my feet, most likely keeping me working (I’m afraid to move but my foot’s going to sleep!). Sadie is gently snoring by my side. I’m not sure life will get any better. They remind me constantly that I’m important to them and somehow, it’s a constant reminder that God loves me unconditionally. They remind me that “everything is grace” …

If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count more than birds.

Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller. All this time and money wasted on fashion – do you think it makes much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby beside them.

If God gives such attention to the wildflowers… don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do what’s best for you. What I’m trying to do is get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving… Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your human concerns will be met.”

Matthew 6.27-33 (The Message – Jesus quoted by Eugene Peterson)