Category: Belief

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Grateful for Iowa…

gregoryjoel

It’s a beautiful Sunday morning here in Fort Worth. The weather folks are predicting hundred degree-plus temperatures for the next ten days, but the porch was blissfully peaceful and cool in the early morning. Every August I’m determined to retire from the farm, but it’s time for Fall planting so I’m once again dreaming of getting the Fall crop to our neighbors and getting back to work.

Margaret and I spent a week with my stepson Paul and his wife Nicki in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Our vacation got off to a bit of a rough start when I had to spend our first night there in the ER. It turned out okay and we were off the see Northeastern Iowa where my wife had lived and Paul grew up. It’s beautiful country although I was thinking to myself “if you’ve seen one field of corn or soybeans you’ve seen them all”. Then we came to the bluffs overlooking McGregor, Iowa and the Mississippi River. The vista before me was unexpectedly beautiful and made the long drive well worth it. I’m a lousy photographer but I took a lot of pictures to remember our time there.

I’d originally intended to write about our travels while Nicki and Margaret were having their “girl’s day out” the next day. Unfortunately, my laptop crashed while I was in the middle of writing and left me unable to get online. I was extremely displeased with the situation at the time, but as the days went by, I discovered what a blessing it is to be unplugged from my devices for a week. No daily bombardment with depressing news stories and no interruptions and distractions – just enjoying time with my family, listening to great music, and relaxing.

It was a fifteen hundred mile round-trip, and I spent the drive time talking to Margaret and reflecting on the many blessings that have showered down from, as St. James says, “from the Father of Light”. Gratitude has become a staple in my life. I’m under no illusions that I’ve “made it on my own” or that what I’ve been so graciously given that I’ve worked for. It’s all a gift, and an undeserved gift at that. That’s how grace is defined and everything is grace. How can I be anything but grateful?

I’m not oblivious to the fact that we’re living through exceedingly trying times. It’s a constant onslaught of division, attacks on anyone defined as the “other”, and difficult economic times brought on by people who could care less about folks like me and you. I’m not spouting some Pollyannish BS about how it’s all going to be okay, but gratitude reminds me that “it’s all going to be okay”. I’ve already been given so much more than I deserve or could have ever imagined. How can it be otherwise?

It doesn’t mean there isn’t work to do either. I’ve come to realize how many good people there are around me. It’s easy to forget that loud and hateful can be countered with quiet service to our loved ones and our community. We all have a part to play in building the community God intended for us. Part of that work is coming in November. One vote may not feel like it makes difference, but thousands of votes speak louder than one can imagine.

I’ve learned that gratitude isn’t simply a noun or a warm and comfy feeling, but a verb, a word that demands action. The more grateful I am, the more I love and serve others – the more I become a part of the community I live in. I’ve also learned the value of unplugging from the digital world and plugging into daily living and working with the other folks I’m so grateful for. Sometimes it takes a vacation from the day-to-day routine to remember that. Sometimes it takes a vacation to remember how important the work we all do is for each other.

In closing I need to say thank you to some special people who made this last week possible. Amir, thank you for taking care of the irrigation while I was gone. It’s been an unbelievably hot and dry August, and the farm never would have survived without your hard work. Amir has been a vital part of the farm for the last couple of years and I’m so grateful for your friendship and love for the farm. Jay and Vicki, thank you for keeping Opal’s Farm Stand open for business while I was away and for all the work you do to serve the Opal’s Farm community. Thank you to all who’ve chosen to be a part of Opal’s Farm family.

“So, my very dear friends, don’t get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all His creatures”. (James 1.16-18 The Message Bible)

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Remembering the Stone

gregoryjoel

A blessed Easter morning to all! I’ve been thinking a lot about Easter this past week. It was never a religious holiday in our home when I was growing up. My Church of Christ upbringing prohibited the celebration of “religious” holidays if the specific date wasn’t mentioned in the Bible. I pointed out to them that we knew when Easter was because of the Hebrew calendar and Passover celebration. They simply said the Bible didn’t say anything about “celebrating” Easter. Henceforth, since there was no such thing as a liturgical calendar (way too Catholic- those heathens!), Christmas and Easter should be relegated to Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny with no mention of Jesus. It wasn’t until many years later that my own spiritual journey led me to a much different view of such things.

Easter and the resurrection of Jesus began to take on true spiritual meaning for me some twenty years ago. That’s I found recovery from the alcohol and addiction that had plagued me for many years. I’m not one for “war stories” about the years prior to December 1, 2005, but suffice it to say that failure, degradation, separation from all things spiritual, and loneliness had become my way of life. Not for the sake of having tried to leave those ways behind, mind you. If I had a dollar for every time I quit or tried rehab, I’d be a wealthy, but probably dead man.

In the twelve step programs I’d tried they all talked about hitting bottom and I was there. A friend once asked me where the bottom was. When I replied I didn’t know, he said that it’s wherever I “put down the shovel”. So, I did. I simply quit digging. That’s when I learned what Easter is all about – resurrection.

I certainly don’t have all the answers nor the right to advise others on their spiritual life and a relationship with the God of their understanding, but my experience is that resurrection is real. I was dead, but now I’m alive. I’m alive because God loved me long before I loved myself. Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead on that first Easter morning to offer new life to me.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels.com

I used to wear a cross necklace as if the cross and the crucifixion were the most important things to remember. I’m not talking smack about cross necklaces, but I think I needed a new perspective on my reality. It wasn’t the cross I needed to focus on (although that was a necessary step in the process), but the stone that was rolled away from the tomb to allow a new, resurrected life to rise for everyone. Unfortunately, a stone is a bit too big to wear around my neck. I should know. I wore several for a long time, just not the same reason…

Today I want to be an Easter person, a resurrection person. I’ve been blessed in more ways than I could ever imagine, and I get a chance each day to be a blessing to others. I can even love others and accept the love and grace of not just my friends, but of a loving Creator. It’s the new life I always dreamed of and could never have on my own. My prayer is that we all focus on the stone and the new life that awaits us all each day.

“We humans mistrust, murder, and attack. Now I see that it is not you that humanity hates. We hate ourselves, but we mistakenly kill you. I must stop crucifying your blessed flesh on this earth and in my brothers and sisters.

Now I see that you live in me and I live in you. You are inviting me out of this endless cycle of illusion and violence. You are Jesus crucified. You are saving me. In your perfect love, you have chosen to enter into union with me, and I am slowly learning to trust that this could be true.” Fr. Richard Rohr

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“Live right”

gregoryjoel

The arctic front has made its way east and we’re slowly rebounding from last weekend’s ice storm. I still can’t get much done at the farm, so I’ve been working from home the last few days. I’ve been blessed to have quiet meditation time in the morning, unhurried by the usual morning rituals that precede a workday at the farm.

Given the atrocities happening in Minnesota and the constant cruelty and hate coming from our nation’s capital, I’ve found myself reading the Book of Isaiah this morning. The prophets remind me that religious nationalism, authoritarian regimes, corruption, and abusive power have always plagued societies long before us. History and the prophets tell me we’ve been through this before. They also remind me that there’s a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel – that evil doesn’t prevail. I must hang on to that. Otherwise, hopelessness rears its ugly head.

This morning, I found a gem in Isaiah 33.15 (in The Message Bible) that offers me hope for today.

“The answer’s simple:

                Live right,

                Speak the truth,

                despise exploitation,

                refuse bribes,

                reject violence,

                avoid evil amusements.

I also find hope in the people of Minneapolis who have braved sub-zero weather to “speak the truth, despise exploitation”, and look out for their neighbors in the face of terrible atrocities carried out by ICE and the current administration. They’ve refused bribes (“we’ll leave if you give us your voter rolls” -another ploy to fix the next election). They’ve rejected violence, answering violence with peaceful protest. Unlike the ICE agents who celebrated the lynching of Alex Pretti (watch the video) or the constant laughing at another’s pain, they’ve rejected such evil amusements.

I needed the reminder today that no matter how I feel (does “really pissed off”, hurt and grieving resonate with you?), I can heed Isaiah’s words. There is hope. Jesus even made clearer by reminding me that loving God and loving others takes care of everything else. It enables me to “speak the truth, despise exploitation, refuse bribes, reject violence, avoid evil amusements” too…

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I Used to Worry…

gregoryjoel

My first year at Opal’s Farm was interesting to say the least. I’d never farmed. I’d had lots of experience with community gardens, but I had never farmed. I only had a few hand tools and a BCS two-wheeled tractor, a wide-open space to use it, and I was the only laborer to do so.  There was no money in the farm account and even what little seed we had was donated. That also meant I didn’t get paid unless some grant money came through or we had a huge harvest – neither of which appeared to be happening soon.

Fortunately, I had a great mentor come into my life, Charlie Blaylock, who owned Shines Farmstand, guided me through the process of becoming a farmer. A month into the project I received help from our first volunteer, Brendan, who stayed with me every day through that first growing season. He put that BCS tractor to work. Although our first growing season met with some moderate success it was nowhere near enough to get paid so I went without a paycheck for the first year.

I believed in the farm. My wife and I had a very small savings account to draw on, and although it wasn’t near enough to pay all the bills, I went to work each day. The money finally ran out in October, and I was so worried and stressed out to the point that I came home and told Margaret that I was going to have to go work elsewhere. My wife, who is one of the most spiritual and faithful people I know, looked at me and said, “Greg, we prayed for a long time about this, and I know this is where God wants you to be. Give it another month before you decide what to do”.

I exclaimed, “Baby, we’ll lose the house if we can’t make the mortgage payment!”

She smiled and simply said, “We had a roof over our heads when we moved in didn’t we?” Needless to say, I’m still there seven years later and the farm is thriving.

You see, I received a call from our Executive Director at eight o’clock the following morning. She told me we’d received a grant from Visit Fort Worth, and she’d have a check for me later that day. I called my wife and told her the great news and stopped to have a little conversation with God. “God, I’m stubborn and thickheaded. I know you told me not to worry about things like that. You have my back. It’s all yours from now on. I’m just going to do the work you gave me each day and you take care of the rest.”

I’ve told this story many times over the last seven years. I’ve even had to remind myself several times this year when funding cuts led to staff layoffs and irregular paychecks. Texas Health Community Hope and the Conservation and Environment Fund at North Texas Community Foundation stepped up to help us in enormous ways to continue the great work at Opal’s Farm.

I’d like to say that my life is free of worry, but that would be a lie. I just worry less about myself and more about others. It seems there’s a lot to worry about these days with all the chaos, hatred, and harm being directed at folks, but doing what I can to ease another’s burden, especially in food justice and serving the marginalized communities around us, there’s less worry and more action.

I don’t worry (well, most of the time anyway…) about results and just do the work. I also remember I spent way too much of life worrying about things that just didn’t matter. I have “enough” and life’s pretty damn good.

From another patron saint of Texas music and one of Fort Worth’s favorite sons – Delbert McClinton along with the great Francine Reed.

“There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” – G. K. Chesterton

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

“The world says, the more you take, the more you have. Christ says, the more you give, the more you are.” — Frederick Buechner

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Bumps in the Road

gregoryjoel

It’s been an interesting Spring at Opal’s Farm. I’ve been busier than a one-armed paper hanger as my uncle used to say.

For one thing, I received a letter from the Social Security Administration this week. It said I’ve reached the age where I am now considered retired. I have to laugh when I realize Ms. Opal “retired” the year after I graduated high school. If that’s what retirement looks like, then I’m grateful for it. It means I can focus on loving and serving others full-time just like her. At ninety-eight, she reminds me that she just keeps running forward so the good Lord can’t catch her to take her home. Besides, there’s so much more to do. Especially now…

The other thing that happened is a little less humorous. My left knee blew out on me last Wednesday as I was putting tools away for the day. That wouldn’t have been unusual as it tends to happen now that I’m old enough to suffer the consequences of an overactive youth. This time was different. It didn’t stop hurting the next day and the pain was in a different part of my knee and increasing rather than decreasing. I decided Friday afternoon I had better go to the ER and have it checked out.

Fortunately, nothing is broken, but since X-rays don’t show cartilage or ligament damage, I’ll be seeing the orthopedic surgeon this week. Moreover, the ER doc said I had a lot of arthritis, and the next step was a knee replacement. I feared that might be the case. I guess I’ll find out this week. It’s a pretty big bump in the road.

He also told me to take steroids and pain medicine, wear the immobilizer, use the crutches, and stay off my knee for a few days. I can take medication. I can use the immobilizer most of the time. I can even use the crutches sometimes. However, for a farmer four days of bed rest isn’t possible this time of year. My doctor and I have an agreement – I don’t tell him how to practice medicine and he doesn’t tell me how to farm.

I went market and “Taste the C.U.R.E” class yesterday. If people ask me what happened I simply tell the truth – I got older!

I guess there’s more news to come and a lot of decisions to be made. I’ll just hobble along and work on the farm until then. I’m going to be much slower so I’m extra grateful for the volunteers we have right now. Spring is the busiest time of year for farmers and Opal’s is no exception. The farm still needs daily care. I’ll be there as long as the good Lord lets me, but we need extra volunteer help right now. Please think of us if you have a little spare time and want to get you’re hands dirty. After all, dirt don’t hurt.