Faith – gregoryjoel.com

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Enough is Enough

April 23, 2023 gregoryjoel

I sat on the porch this morning drinking coffee and soaking in the morning. It’s been sprinkling off and on all morning but not enough to keep the mockingbirds and the doves from their vibrant singing and cooing. It’s been unseasonably cool and overcast this morning, but the birds reminded me Spring is really here.

It’s times like these I see how blessed I am. I most certainly don’t deserve it. I spent most of my life making poor choices and living the way addiction dictated how I live. It wasn’t until almost twenty years ago that I finally surrendered, choosing life, and living in the Spirit as best I can. I haven’t been wealthy – this is not another “Prosperity Gospel” tale – but I’ve always had enough. Enough truly is enough…

I was speaking with a friend the other day. They have lived a life of escaping poverty. They grew up in the rural Midwest where the average income was less than ten thousand dollars a year (substantially less) and they didn’t even have electricity for many years of their young life. It’s still difficult for me to remember that there were (and are) people who lived like that in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. As a result, they spend time worrying about never having enough and the fear of losing what they have.

I have also lived in poverty in the past, but mine was of my own making. It was something I never imagined growing up in an upper middle-class home in the suburbs. The fear and constant looking over my shoulder and harming the very ones I loved was something I never intended, but it became more real as my addiction progressed. I often fail to understand the trauma that comes with poverty forced on someone by birthplace and circumstance. I can’t pretend to know the fear that comes with falling back into such a state. I can, however, be present to the reality of my friend.

I believe that has led to so much introspection over the last few weeks. Most of the fear has been removed through my years of recovery. I’m no longer confused. As Brennan Manning says, “Everything is grace.” I have what I have, not because of my own efforts, but because God has graciously provided enough – enough of life’s necessities so I can share and be of service to those around me. I work hard because I have something to offer the world around me. As such, it’s become much easier to live in the world and to be present.

Saint Francis said, “Above all the grace and gifts that Christ gives to his beloved is that of overcoming self.” It constantly amazes me when I find joy in driving in rush hour traffic because the bluebonnets and other wildflowers are in full bloom along the side of the freeway. When I let go of who I think I am, both when I have an over-inflated ego or tell myself I’m the scum of the Earth – I’m free to acknowledge what a loving God thinks of me. I see the God lives in everything that surrounds me.

“We have very little, so we have nothing to be preoccupied with. The more you have, the more you are occupied, the less you give. But the less you have, the more free you are.”
– Mother Teresa

As I sit at my desk writing this morning, I have four dogs sleeping all around my feet. Ricky and Lucy – the “twins” have exhausted themselves playing together. Jameson is laid across my feet, most likely keeping me working (I’m afraid to move but my foot’s going to sleep!). Sadie is gently snoring by my side. I’m not sure life will get any better. They remind me constantly that I’m important to them and somehow, it’s a constant reminder that God loves me unconditionally. They remind me that “everything is grace” …

If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count more than birds.

Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller. All this time and money wasted on fashion – do you think it makes much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby beside them.

If God gives such attention to the wildflowers… don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do what’s best for you. What I’m trying to do is get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving… Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your human concerns will be met.”
Matthew 6.27-33 (The Message – Jesus quoted by Eugene Peterson)

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Impatient Patient

April 16, 2023April 16, 2023 gregoryjoel

I’ve learned that if you won’t take a break from work then the universe tends to make you! I’ve spent the last five days in the hospital (more on that in a minute) due to a raging infection that started with what appeared to be a fire ant bite. No one knows for sure but that triggered it. The swelling, redness, and heat have gone down a lot, thanks to some high-powered IV antibiotics. I can actually see my knuckles again! Hopefully I will be discharged from the hospital and switch to oral antibiotics on Monday and then it’s back to the farm.

When they admitted me, they put me in the “Hospital at Home” program. I feel like I should have an ankle monitor since I’m required to stay home (it’s a good version of house arrest), but “facts are not feelings”. This is a wonderful care program developed by Texas Health Resources. They put in all the tech equipment necessary to keep me in touch with my care team. I receive several visits per day from paramedics to help with medications and IVs as well as from Nurse Practitioners. The iPad keeps virtual doctor and nurse contact, and my vital signs are monitored the same as in the hospital itself. They’ve also discovered that patients heal quicker in their own homes. I get it. I never thought I would say that I’ve enjoyed a hospital stay, but the care team is amazing. Texas Health Resources is not only a great sponsor of the farm but a great health partner personally.

Amber and Amanda have done an outstanding job of keeping things going at the farm. This is probably the worst possible time to be down, but they have kept the growing season going strong. They’ve also kept me updated several times a day. They had the best day so far at Cowtown Farmers Market this morning for Opal’s Farm. Amber has done such an incredible job with the biointensive beds that we have more produce than we have storage for. That’s a great problem to have, but it’s still a problem. Thanks to the Rainwater Foundation and Grow SE we will be getting a cargo trailer and a chill bot to handle cold storage issues.

I’ve tried to be a good patient and follow doctor’s orders. I stay in bed much of the day and prop my arm with a pillow. I’ve seen more Netflix in the last five days, than I’ve seen in a year. I’ve been able to catch up on the endless stream of paperwork that comes with the farm. I’ve also had time to reflect on this life I’ve been given. I recently reconnected with my best friend in high school and college, Tim Dwyer. Twenty years and quite a few miles have come and gone since we’ve talked. Facebook provided a wonderful opportunity to connect with each other.

I remember little of my childhood. The mental health folks assume I must have some kind of repressed trauma that restrains my memories. The only trauma I can think of was growing up in the Church of Christ but that didn’t become apparent until my adult years. What I do remember is having loving parents and growing up in a white middle class home, but never quite fitting the mold of all the other kids.

Music made life tolerable, but when I discovered alcohol, the world became alive – at least for a while. Music was always by my side. Alcohol and drugs betrayed me. Tim was my friend through both.

That’s why this reconnection was so important to me. True friends, like Tim, are rare.

Enough of waxing nostalgic for now anyway. I can hardly wait to get back to the farm and although I will have to stay “out of the dirt” for a few days I can still do the tractor work waiting for me there. I will try to be better at posting updates and writing. It’s been quite infrequent over a very long Spring. Amber and Amanda have posted some great stuff on Instagram though. See what’s coming to market there – @opalsfarm.

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Snakes in the Grass

March 17, 2023 gregoryjoel

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day everyone! Saint Patrick died on this day in 461 A.D. and became the patron Saint of Ireland for his missionary work in Ireland. Following his death, many legends and myths grew around his evangelical work among the Druid population of the island. It is said that the four-leaf clover was how he taught the Trinity to the locals and thus became a part of the lore around Saint Patrick.

All I was taught in school was that Saint Patrick was responsible for driving all the snakes out of Ireland. I was quite disappointed when I learned there were never snakes in Ireland to begin with. However, the snake represented the devil and all kinds of evil. Metaphorically, he drove the “snakes”, the Druids and paganism, from Ireland. That makes sense except that there are “snakes” in Ireland just like everywhere else in the world. That’s unfortunate but true…

Saint Patrick lived a difficult life as a Christian. He suffered enslavement to a Druid warlord and later escaped back to his beloved Britain but chose willingly to return to Ireland to spread the gospel. There he was threatened with death, survived several assassination attempts, more enslavement, and continued ridicule and harassment. Still, he chose to remain and be faithful to his spiritual calling.

I often wonder how he could have continued in the face of such resistance – how he could have continued to be kind to his enemies. I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness and what it means to truly be kind. It’s difficult in the best of times but even more so when faced with the current political climate, deep divisions, Christian nationalism and yes, road rage (I’m talking about myself). I strive to live kindly towards all, but I often fall woefully short. What does it mean to be kind to even my “enemies”?

I’ve spent many hours researching what kindness is all about and how to exercise kindness (not “niceness” which is a whole other story…) in my life. I found this little gem in today’s reading:

“No matter how misguided some opinions may be, I do not have to be the purveyor and filterer of all the truth in the world, and sometimes my inside voice needs to stay right where it is: inside”

– Bruce Reyes-Chow, “In Defense of Kindness – Why It Matters, How It Changes Our Lives, and How It Can Save the World”

It dawned on me that the majority of the problems in my life are the result of speaking aloud what should remain as my inside voice. I tend to be an open book. While vulnerability and real communication is something we all could use more of, striking the balance between our “inside” and “outside” voice is something I struggle with.

I have to leave for the farm in a bit so I’m asking God to help me watch the inside voice today. If you struggle with your inside voice coming out at some inappropriate times I’d love to hear how you’re learning to keep it inside. I’d love to hear specifics about how you treat those who often make the inside voice go crazy because quite frankly, there’s a lot of snakes out there…

Statue of St Patrick within St James, Milton by Basher Eyre is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

Snakes in the Grass

March 17, 2023 gregoryjoel

“No matter how misguided some opinions may be, I do not have to be the purveyor and filterer of all the truth in the world, and sometimes my inside voice needs to stay right where it is: inside”

– Bruce Reyes-Chow, “In Defense of Kindness – Why It Matters, How It Changes Our Lives, and How It Can Save the World”

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What is bio-intensive farming?

February 26, 2023 gregoryjoel

We are asked that question frequently as we move our first third of an acre to bio-intensive farming versus the “tractor” farming we have done for the first four years at Opal’s Farm.. The simplest definition of “bio-intensive farming” is to use organic methods to achieve “maximum yields from a minimum area of land, while simultaneously increasing biodiversity and sustaining the fertility of the soil.”( http://bionica.org/library/biointensive-method/ )

When properly implemented, bio-intensive farming has the potential to:

topsoil at a rate 60 times faster than in nature” (Worldwide Loss of Soil – and a Possible Solution Ecology Action, 1996).

At Opal’s, the third of an acre that is being transformed this Spring has 134 twenty-five-foot beds. Most of these beds are for tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants but they also contain some of our carrot crop, radishes, greens, and lettuces/salad mixes. Each of these beds yield produce equal to what our 100-foot rows have done in the past. We hope to add more bio-intensive beds over the coming growing seasons.

Bio-intensive means just that – intensive. Management of these beds requires constant attention, but even the time spent on each bed is lessened as the soil becomes cleaner (less weeds) and healthier. The system is perfect for the home gardener or small producer like Opal’s.

Building the infrastructure for bio-intensive farming is time-consuming. That’s one reason we have not utilized it in the past. We’ve simply not had the labor to build and maintain these beds in the past. Now that we’ve added Amber Carr and Amanda Vogel to our staff, we are able to change our focus, knowing that once the infrastructure is in place we never have to build it again! We’ll be sharing our successes with you over the coming Spring and long-term plans are to have educational classes available to the community.

Side Note!

I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you how much we appreciate the Natural Resource Conservation Service (NRCS). On February 23^rd, they came in mass with engineers to help design a more efficient irrigation system for us. We already have drip irrigation for our bio-intensive section, but having more efficient water use over the whole farm is something we’ve been striving for since the beginning.

NRCS and its parent agency, the USDA, have begun to concentrate on urban agriculture and smaller producers in a big way. We can lead the way in developing practices and programs right here for future urban farms in North Texas. We would love to thank our Urban Agriculture representative, Michael Higgins, and our NRCS rep for this district, Michael Brookes, for the extra attention and help they are giving Opal’s and urban agriculture throughout the metroplex!