I rarely speak of my recovery from the disease of addiction. Addiction is almost always associated with drugs – as I know all too well – but it encompasses so much more than that. According to Wikipedia, there are over thirty distinct twelve-step programs based on the Alcoholics Anonymous model for a variety of addictive maladies. There’s even more loosely based on the AA program.
One of the main traditions of twelve-step recovery is that of anonymity so I rarely speak publicly about my own process unless it’s applicable to another hurting human being sharing the same struggles. What I’ve learned to share openly is that none of my recovery has been due to my own efforts. Healing has taken place because of the relationship I have today with the “God of my understanding”. It’s only through God’s love and spirit that I’ve not only stayed clean for over twenty years, but that I’m finding new life, and “life abundantly” as the Apostle John said.
I was having coffee and meditating while out on the porch this morning when I rediscovered one of the basic truths of my life today. Romans 8.5-7 says:
“Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them – living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters in a dead end: attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious free life.” (The Message Bible)
I struggled with addiction for many years even after I was introduced to recovery some forty years ago. I got clean and began healing from the disease of addiction when I finally stopped trying to do it on my own. I was fortunate to have a dear friend and mentor who stuck by my side in those early days. He frequently reminded me that I needed to keep it simple. “You can never be too stupid for this program, but you can always be too smart” he would tell me”. For me, the principle of K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple Stupid – was a necessity in my recovery.
Simplicity has come to be the rule for me. I’m often reminded of a passage in recovery literature that says the core of our disease is our self-obsession and my friend’s wise words, “Do the opposite.” If the thing that makes my life destructive then the antidote lies in the opposite direction – serving others. Unfortunately, that runs against my very human nature and no matter how hard I try to do life differently I fail miserably – wrapped up in all the chaos, confusion, and worry that somehow how won’t get what’s mine. Everything and everyone else fall by the wayside. I’m not sure what “mine” is anyway because it’s all a gift.
So how do I “do the opposite”, that thing so contrary to my nature? I rediscovered the answer this morning – allowing God, allowing love and grace – to take up residence in me. The ancient wisdom found in Romans 8.9-14, says:
“But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won’t know what we’re talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells… you yourself experience life on God’s terms… So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give a decent burial and get on with your new life. God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!” (The Message Bible)
I’m not trying to preach or proselytize. I can only tell you what has become true in my life and in my home. I see the division, selfishness, and lack of concern for others and the common good of all. I’m bombarded daily with everyone’s opinion, rather from the Right and the Left, how all can be made better. The talking heads go on and on and nothing changes.
My friend once asked me how I expected to solve my problems with the same brain that created them in the first place. Maybe I need to stop trying to fix the situation and rely on the constant help God has so graciously provided. Maybe that’s an answer for all of us. Simplicity. Do the opposite. Maybe instead of right and left we’re all asking the wrong questions. Perhaps the more accurate question is about right and wrong; especially when it comes to helping others and living together as was intended for us all along. The same old, same old hasn’t worked too well.
I still attend recovery meetings all these years later (although not as frequently as I did in the beginning of my recovery). I still need to be grounded and centered from time to time. Sometimes, I just need to be reminded to K.I.S.S., live the life that’s been so freely given to me, and share with you all…
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