Christianity, Emotional Health, Faith, Freelancing, Gratitude, Marriage, Service Organizations, Simplicity, Uncategorized, Work, Writing

Passion…

I had an early morning doctor appointment this morning, so my time on the porch was brief. By the time I got home the porch was getting a bit warm. According to the meteorologist on last night’s news, it looks like the upper nineties and triple digit heat will be here for a while. That leaves a smaller window for enjoying the porch (in comfort, at least).

I read a brief article this morning about how finding one’s passion isn’t always the best advice when it comes to employment. It seems it tends to create a certain degree of tunnel vision that may not allow one to see other possibilities and limit human growth. I’m not sure why, but that’s been bothering me all morning.

My wife and I have this conversation from time to time. One of my sons is an artist. He comes complete with all the personality one might expect when one thinks of an artist. He’s incredibly bright and, has what he calls, an extreme case of Adult ADD. He started drawing on the walls when he was a toddler and hasn’t stopped since. Many of his personal and collaborative murals can be found throughout Fort Worth

Jeremy is one of the ‘up and comers’ in the art scene. He’s curated several shows and exhibited in other cities. His gallery opening at Fort Works Art was a huge success. Last week he made the cover of Fort Worth Weekly, our weekly magazine and the headline said, “Inside Jeremy Joel’s Brain”. I must admit that the idea scared me a bit. After all, I’m his father and anyone with kids knows, eccentricities aren’t always pleasant to deal with. Still, I’m unbelievably proud of him, though I’ll be the first to tell you I’m not very objective.

I’m proud of all our kids and I don’t want any of them to think I’m singling out Jeremy for praise. I never wanted to stifle any of my children’s passion. They are all very different, with unique talents, interests, and careers. I mention Jeremy because he struggled with the question of art versus work and passion versus making a living. I haven’t always liked his decisions along the journey, but it appears he’s on track with the thing he loves to do.

I’m always a little jealous of those that seem to find a way to make their passion their living. It wasn’t that way for me. It took me almost fifty years to become passionate in my work.  Today, I ‘get to’ get out of bed, put the coffee on, and spend some time on the porch getting centered in my day. I step into my office where I often share some thoughts with all of you and spend the rest of the day working on writing projects and events that I’m extremely passionate about. I work mostly with non-profit and faith-based organizations. I feel like I make a difference in the world. I wish I’d done it a long time ago.

I’ll be sixty years old in a couple of months. I’ve worked since I was eleven years old. I started as a paper boy and went on to become a gas station attendant (do any of you remember them?), a cook, and a construction worker by the time I was ready to start my ‘career’. I won’t bore you with all the details, except to say that when I got to college (I went on the ten-year plan), all I wanted to become was a college professor or teacher. I tell you this because that was my passion, and that’s not what I followed…

I decided that pleasing my father was more important than doing what I loved. You see, my parents lived through the Great Depression. That experience shaped the way they viewed work. My Dad was fortunate enough to land a job with the railroad when he was seventeen. A railroad job was coveted employment back in the forties. Except for the months he was drafted, he worked his way up through the ranks and continued there until he took early retirement at fifty-seven, with forty years of service. That my friends, was the job he wanted for me.

That wasn’t the case for me. My parents lived back here in Fort Worth and would call me in Colorado every week (we still used landlines and got charged for long distance calls – I know! Crazy, right?). My Dad would ask about school and then ask me if “I was still going to teach or was I going to get a job”. He would often remind me that “those who do, work and those who can’t, teach”. I certainly didn’t agree with him, but I chose to please him rather than continue with teaching. It wasn’t long before I found myself a single father and had felt like I had no choice but to follow my father’s advice. I went on to work for various companies and, while I was good at my work, always regretted not pursuing my passion for teaching.

I guess that’s why I’m a little bit jealous of Jeremy. I wish I had followed my passion. I’ve heard it said that “do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life”. I’ve found that to be true over the last few years. So, when Margaret and I have these conversations I tend to lean on the side of passion. She tends to lean towards the ‘do whatever you have to for your family’. I’d like to think that maybe there’s a balance, but maybe balance is often just ‘the beam I trip on while running between extremes’.

One thing I know for sure is that ‘making a difference’, no matter what I’m doing, has become a core value in my life today. I’m inclined to think that maybe work, no matter what it is, should be a way of ‘making a difference’. Maybe if that’s the passion, we can all find jobs we love. Just a thought…

Christianity, Emotional Health, Faith, Family, Gardening, Health, Hope, Positive Thinking, Prayer, Recovery, Relationships, Service Organizations, Simplicity, Spirituality, Trust, Uncategorized

“It is good…”

I wasn’t going to write anything this morning. I have a lot to do, both work-related and here at home; and to be honest, I just wasn’t ‘feeling’ it. My thoughts were scattered, and I was preoccupied with getting Sadie, our youngest pup, out of the living room (she’s a sneaky little devil). She’d run behind the sofa every time I’d open the door and call her. I’d shut the door and she’d come scratch at it to get out. Rinse and repeat. So, writing was the farthest thing from my mind…

I finally managed to get Sadie out of the living room. I’m not sure why cat food does the trick, but it seems to work better than treats. Anyway, I poured a new cup of coffee, sat down to check emails, and took a moment to log in to Facebook and check on my friends. After all the morning’s frustrations, I needed some of the raw humor my friend Edgar usually posts. Instead, I came across a video demonstrating what true friendship really means.

It seems a terminally ill chimpanzee was in her last days. She refused food and water and at 59 years old, she had earned the right to face the end on her own terms. Then a long-lost friend came in, a scientist who had developed a relationship with her in her youth. You should have seen her smile. The love and touching (apparently after a long absence) was amazing. I could see why chimpanzees share 98% of our DNA. I guess I needed to see it this morning because the tears began to flow (and yes, I cried over a chimpanzee video). It sent me back to the porch to sit quietly and still my thoughts. So, like it or not, here I am…

There are so many things in this life that I don’t understand. I read the newsfeed each day, only to become frustrated, angry, hurt, and often baffled by what goes on in the world. Several years ago, I signed a ‘Covenant of Civility’ that Sojourners (a ministry in DC) and many other religious leaders signed, as a means of committing to civil discourse in the areas of politics, social issues, and culture. My friend Edgar tells me that, while it’s hard to love unconditionally, it’s always possible to be unconditionally kind. The covenant was revolutionary – the idea that one could remain respectful and civil to those with opposing views given the vitriolic atmosphere of the times.

I haven’t always been true to my commitment. There are times I allow my anger get the best of me and say things I wish I could take back. Then there are times when anger is called for, like when people are crushed by the weight of oppression and violence and no one seems to care. Even Jesus drove the moneychangers out of the temple, right? The world can be a depressing place and sometimes my response isn’t pretty…

That being said, when I saw that video this morning, the world seemed to fall back into perspective. The creation story says that when all was said and done, God looked at all of it and called it ‘good’ – not perfect, but ‘good’. Sometimes I focus on the bad. Yes, there is a lot of evil and meanness in the world. Social and economic justice, stewardship of the earth, and living non-violently are important issues and need to be addressed, but I need to see the good in the world as well. I guess that’s what struck me when I saw the ‘chimpanzee video’ this morning. I’m so blessed to have friends to walk with me on this journey, through good times and bad. If I look for it, I get to see all the ‘good’ the Creator saw…

There have been times I’ve been critical of the way we do ‘church’, but I’ve been the recipient of the love and service of the one I’m a member of. I get emails from across the country from ministries like Sojourners, Repairers of the Breach, or The Simple Way that are making a difference in people’s daily lives. I hear about their successes and their struggles. I talk to my friend Rusty, and I see how his walk with Jesus touches the people around him. If I look closely, I’m surrounded by folks whose actions strive to make their (and our) world a bit better.

Sometimes it’s easy to focus on the negatives. After all, we’re bombarded with them on the TV and the Internet. Yet, I’m struck by the simple moments when I can hear God say, “it’s all good”. I heard it this morning when I saw the chimpanzee’s smile at a long-lost friend. I heard it last night when I picked some more produce from the garden. I hear it all the time from friends and family. It doesn’t mean it can’t be better. It just reminds me to stop and appreciate the ‘good’.

I went into our bedroom while ago and there was Margaret with all three dogs lounging around the bed. I wish I’d had my camera with me. It was good…

Christianity, Recovery, Service Organizations, Spirituality, Uncategorized, Writing

Oops…

The last couple of days have been a little hectic. I spent Monday doing some manual labor for our two of our kids. I enjoy throwing on the work boots and getting dirty. I love my work but it’s nice to get outside and work hard occasionally. I’m fortunate that I’m able to break up the routine from time to time. Most people don’t have that opportunity. Unfortunately, it made for a very busy Tuesday and a lot of aching muscles. That happens more often as I get older. That was one of the motivating factors in making the change to full-time writing…

I made the decision last year to go back to school, update my credentials, and begin freelancing again as a content and copy writer. I’ve been blessed to have great business mentors and a wealth of experience to help me make the transition. I was sitting on the porch this morning, reflecting on how grateful I am for that fortune, when I suddenly realized I had made a huge blunder in the process of this transition. I violated one of the fundamental rules of business, at least for people like me…

I started posting my daily “Thoughts From the Porch” on my Facebook page. Unfortunately, posting directly to Facebook instead of sharing a blog post raises issues of ownership. Naturally, I was thrilled to start blogging from my website, www.gregoryjoel.com. This is my web presence from a business standpoint and I keep it as professional as possible (which is why I constantly edit and update it!). Some of you already where I’m going with this…

My blog is a bit different. I share thoughts on things other than business, especially when it comes to my faith, how I see the world, and who (and who’s) I am. I make no excuses for that. While I don’t like to wear my recovery on my sleeve, I can’t deny it’s an important part of my spirituality and my faith. Recovery is what gave me a relationship with the God of my understanding. That’s what guides me as a professional. Unfortunately, the business community (and often society as a whole!) looks at it differently. It dawned on me that I had shot myself in the foot, professionally. It was right there for potential clients to read. Like my friend Jim used to tell me, “Sober don’t mean stupid son”. In boxing, they call it “leading with the chin”…

My mind raced with questions and self-doubt. How could I have been so foolish? What do I do now? I sat there feeling nothing but panic and failure. It was then a Casting Crowns’ song came on the stereo and stopped those thoughts dead in their tracks: “Just be held… your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place”. I paused, took a deep breath, and looked back at all the times I failed in the past and how they turned into blessings when I saw them differently. My vision had changed. Like my friend Edgar tells me, “we have a new pair of glasses”. I began to see my present dilemma differently, too.

One of the things I’ve come to know with a degree of certainty is that I am not my failures, nor am I unique. I used to think I was, and sometimes, like this morning, I still feel that way. I just don’t feel like that all the time. I see the past differently today and accept the grace that has been, and is, given so freely. By accepting that grace I’ve learned to accept myself and my failures. I trust that they made me the man I am today. I’m comfortable with the “Popeye Principle”: “I am what I am and that’s all that I am”. I’m just another one of God’s kids. So, I guess prospective clients will simply see me the way they see me.

I’ve learned (usually the hard way) that it’s not important what you think of me, nor what I think of me, but what God thinks of me. His grace and mercy lead me to live differently: in my personal and business relationships, in the world I live in, and to measure success in a new (and sometimes uncommon) way. Is my word my bond? Am I honest? Am I helping others, whether it’s personally or professionally? Do I live with integrity today? Do I live and work graciously and gratefully and treat you the same – with grace and dignity? When I live to love him and love others everything changes. Failures become life lessons and opportunities – to learn, to grow, and be of service to my family, friends, and fellows. Hopefully, others will see that as well. If not, then it is what it is. “I am what I am and that’s all that I am…”

Christianity, Gardening, Recovery, Service Organizations, Spirituality, Uncategorized

Connections

I apologize in advance for any errors in this morning’s post. My “editor” is out of pocket this morning. It’s difficult to edit myself, but I wanted to get this morning’s thoughts out there. I hope you understand…

I’m a little “bum-fuzzled” this morning. Margaret was up early this morning to accompany our nephew and his wife to their final custody hearing at the court in Dallas. It threw a wrench into our (and of course, “my”) daily routine. I’m constantly amazed to find that I’ve become such a creature of habit. I’ve always thought of myself as somewhat spontaneous in spirit, but as I grow older, quite the opposite is true. I’m becoming my father. That’s not such a bad thing, mind you. My Dad was a loving and wise man who found joy and freedom in structure. I’m not sure how I feel about it though…

Margaret has a rough time in the mornings. She normally eases into the morning, allowing her body to adjust from sleeping to waking and moving about. It takes a lot of strength, perseverance, and determination to overcome the pain she suffers upon awakening to an early schedule. I’m reminded how much I love my wife and what an example she is for me. If someone needs her, she’s there regardless, of painful physical obstacles. I hope that I can be as self-less and loving as she is. I’m a better man because of my wife. Sometimes, I feel she was short-changed in this deal. Grace is truly a wonderful thing…

Anyway, I admit I’m a little scattered this morning. I pray gentle reader, that my thoughts are somewhat coherent. I had a couple of cups of coffee and some time to regroup my faculties, so here goes…

Over the last several weeks I’ve been blessed to be working with a local non-profit on an urban garden project. Although they are not a faith-based organization, I’ve had a good look at how ecological stewardship and community-building works in God’s world, in his kingdom. I could’ve have missed it if I relegated them to “just” another secular organization. Sometimes I think good Christian folks could learn a great deal from people who simply help others without regard to their religious belief or lack thereof.

I’m grateful that my consulting work has introduced me to a group of people, believers, who truly are workers in God’s kingdom. They don’t preach with words. They preach with action. They love others and plant seeds – literally. As a result, they have an incredible harvest with an abundance of fresh produce and fresh hearts. It seems I’ve heard that parable before…

So, I’d like to give a shout-out and a thank you to the folks at Bonton Farms in Dallas. I could write all day about stewardship and service in God’s kingdom. I’d like to show you how it works instead. I encourage you to visit their website at www.bontonfarms.org and see for yourself the transformation taking place in the lives of individuals and the community there.

“The kingdom is like…” It’s like Bonton. It’s like recovery. It’s like a mustard seed or a wee bit of yeast…

I always loved parables – wisdom coming from ordinary, everyday things, and situations. My favorite ones are the “kingdom is like” stories that draw on nature. I’ve found recovery, and hence my faith, is like a tiny seed that transforms into something bigger and better, bearing a great harvest. That tiny seed some wonderful people planted in me is growing, and I pray I bear better fruit today; that my actions are attractive and appealing to others.

What really strikes me over the last few weeks is the connection between people that takes place from the simple act of planting a seed. I saw it at Bonton Farms and I’ve seen it in the gardens I’ve been honored to work with in the past. Something about tending the soil and allowing God to produce the harvest has a profound effect on the people involved. The food and the flowers are important. They improve people’s lives by their simple taste and beauty. What’s really important, though, is that by connecting with the soil, we begin to connect with one another.

The kingdom really is like  a tiny mustard seed…