It’s been a long week at Opal’s Farm. The Trinity River Water District had to drop the water level in our section of the river so they could work on the dams above and below where the farm is. The sudden drop left our irrigation pump several feet out of the river and no access for our reserve high pressure pump. It’s a problem I’ve never encountered before – no water and new seed in the field.
I’ve often told people that farmers are among the smartest, most resourceful people I know. The farm offers new challenges on a regular basis that require thinking “out of the box”. Now I won’t claim above-average smarts, but I decided to haul water in fifty-gallon barrels and hand water all the new seeds every day. Lo and behold, seedlings are popping up in the new beds and rain finally came yesterday. In fact, Fort Worth set a record for the daily rainfall amount. I feel bad for those who had outdoor plans for Valentine’s Day, but God gave me the greatest Valentine’s Day gift I ever received (said with a sigh of relief!).
Hauling water and watering by the bucket is tedious, tiring, but necessary work. It was a reminder of the importance of patience, of doing the needed footwork, and trust that God will provide. I’m responsible for putting one foot in front of the other, God takes care of the results. Life is so much easier when I simply do the work and leave the results to the God of my understanding.
The time is always now for right action, for doing the footwork to make the farm, and my world, a better place. Sometimes it’s tedious, tiring, even depressing. It seems like it’s never enough, but eventually the seeds, whether they be fresh veggies or changing my community for the better, sprout and grow. The farm reminds me of the importance of being God’s hands and feet right here, right now. It’s like the Zen saying, “Chop wood, carry water”…
My first year at Opal’s Farm was interesting to say the least. I’d never farmed. I’d had lots of experience with community gardens, but I had never farmed. I only had a few hand tools and a BCS two-wheeled tractor, a wide-open space to use it, and I was the only laborer to do so. There was no money in the farm account and even what little seed we had was donated. That also meant I didn’t get paid unless some grant money came through or we had a huge harvest – neither of which appeared to be happening soon.
Fortunately, I had a great mentor come into my life, Charlie Blaylock, who owned Shines Farmstand, guided me through the process of becoming a farmer. A month into the project I received help from our first volunteer, Brendan, who stayed with me every day through that first growing season. He put that BCS tractor to work. Although our first growing season met with some moderate success it was nowhere near enough to get paid so I went without a paycheck for the first year.
I believed in the farm. My wife and I had a very small savings account to draw on, and although it wasn’t near enough to pay all the bills, I went to work each day. The money finally ran out in October, and I was so worried and stressed out to the point that I came home and told Margaret that I was going to have to go work elsewhere. My wife, who is one of the most spiritual and faithful people I know, looked at me and said, “Greg, we prayed for a long time about this, and I know this is where God wants you to be. Give it another month before you decide what to do”.
I exclaimed, “Baby, we’ll lose the house if we can’t make the mortgage payment!”
She smiled and simply said, “We had a roof over our heads when we moved in didn’t we?” Needless to say, I’m still there seven years later and the farm is thriving.
You see, I received a call from our Executive Director at eight o’clock the following morning. She told me we’d received a grant from Visit Fort Worth, and she’d have a check for me later that day. I called my wife and told her the great news and stopped to have a little conversation with God. “God, I’m stubborn and thickheaded. I know you told me not to worry about things like that. You have my back. It’s all yours from now on. I’m just going to do the work you gave me each day and you take care of the rest.”
I’ve told this story many times over the last seven years. I’ve even had to remind myself several times this year when funding cuts led to staff layoffs and irregular paychecks. Texas Health Community Hope and the Conservation and Environment Fund at North Texas Community Foundation stepped up to help us in enormous ways to continue the great work at Opal’s Farm.
I’d like to say that my life is free of worry, but that would be a lie. I just worry less about myself and more about others. It seems there’s a lot to worry about these days with all the chaos, hatred, and harm being directed at folks, but doing what I can to ease another’s burden, especially in food justice and serving the marginalized communities around us, there’s less worry and more action.
I don’t worry (well, most of the time anyway…) about results and just do the work. I also remember I spent way too much of life worrying about things that just didn’t matter. I have “enough” and life’s pretty damn good.
From another patron saint of Texas music and one of Fort Worth’s favorite sons – Delbert McClinton along with the great Francine Reed.
“There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” – G. K. Chesterton
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
“The world says, the more you take, the more you have. Christ says, the more you give, the more you are.” — Frederick Buechner
(Side Note – I just saw that my last post was on June 1st. June is always busy with all the Juneteenth activities hosted by Unity Unlimited, Inc. and Opal’s Farm. Just as a side note to all those I follow regularly – I have fallen so far behind your posts and emails that I’ve had to send them to the archives in the hope that someday I may time to read them. That’s one of the most difficult parts of this month as it deepens the sense of disconnection from the people I most enjoy. Please know that I think of you all often and hope to stay current going forward into July.)
June may be busy but it has also been full of hope and joy during a time when so many folks are struggling under the onus of grief, anger, and depression caused by the chaos, hatefulness, and uncertainty coming from Washington D.C. on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. In response to this madness, large rallies and protests were held around the country, from small villages and towns to major cities, on June 14th called “No Kings Day”. Even here in Fort Worth, a crowd of around 7500 people met at Burkburnett Park and marched through downtown Fort Worth in a peaceful, non-violent protest. The turnout was quite unexpected in this extremely conservative, deeply red, city. Moreover, it was a widely diverse crowd including moderates, progressives, and even some conservatives who stand against the heavy-handed authoritarianism coming from the current administration.
This may not sound like a big deal compared to other crowds around the country, but even during the height of the protests when George Floyd was brutally murdered in 2020, the crowd size never grew over two thousand. Perhaps more folks are beginning to see behind the MAGA curtain and becoming willing to act. I can only hope.
I was asked to speak at the rally (which was advertised as non-partisan, mind you) about the importance of changing our local food system in light of all the events we struggle with today and the importance of being able to grow our own food. I’ve always believed that planting a garden is a revolutionary act. It changes the perception of both the grower and the food system itself. Local food is a threat to the old ways of the distribution of ultra-processed, unhealthy, food void of proper nutrients, particularly in vulnerable urban neighborhoods.
Juneteenth was only a few days later and there was no shortage of Juneteenth activities this year even though many other cities cancelled or cutback their celebrations this year. Ms. Opal Lee’s annual “Walk for Freedom” was supported by over 2600 walkers this year in Fort Worth; not the mention those that participated in our host cities – New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Tokyo, Japan – or walked virtually in their own towns across the country and the world. I got a post from New Zealand about a young lady whose family joined in the walk despite the twenty-hour time difference!
We finished the week on Sunday with Sen. Bernie Sanders and the “Fighting Oligarchy” tour at Dickies Arena here in Fort Worth. His commitment to speaking to truth in deeply red states is sorely needed and appreciated in times like these. I’m a firm believer that had the DNC party apparatus not blocked him from of the 2016 Presidential nomination in favor of Hillary Clinton, things would be much different today. Just saying…
The events of this June here in conservative Tarrant County, Texas have given me a glimmer of hope. These days I will take hope wherever and however I find it. I think we all should. The constant onslaught of chaos and immoral policies (note that these are immoral, not simple political policies and choices – I’m not speaking from a political framework) drives us all to a state of hopelessness. That’s exactly where the powers that be want us to be. It’s easier to control and hurt quiet people. Thanks Fort Worth for making your voice louder this month. Now let’s get louder…
Happy New Year to you all! I find this a time of reflection on the past year and look forward toward the new one. I haven’t been in the best place emotionally during the holidays since my son passed away four-and-a-half years ago (he was born on Christmas Day), so reflection comes much easier this time of year. If there is anything positive about grief is that it makes reflection more honest.
If I’m honest, 2024 was a difficult year. It really doesn’t apply to the farm – we’re having record year. I have been blessed to have found two good men to be part of our mission and I give all the credit to their independent thinking, hard work, and new ideas. I’ve been able to let go of several work things because I have good people to help me walk this path together. It’s been my personal life that has been difficult. Difficulties seem to be directly tied the growth rates – the more growth that occurs, the greater the degree of difficulty. Actually, come to think of it, it’s not the changes growth brings that bring on the difficulty, but my resistance to the changes.
Most of the time I’m a pretty levelheaded, compassionate, person: at least that’s what people tell me. The Golden Rule has become a guidepost for most of my interactions with people, but I found myself holding folks to a set of unrealistic expectations. Experience has taught me that whenever I place expectations on others, I’m bound to be disappointed.
However, take the expectations away and people will be people. They’ll make decisions that baffle me (the election of the Great Pumpkin) and they certainly won’t change when I want them to. People are unintentionally uncooperative. I don’t get it, but then again, I don’t have to get it. Reality often conflicts with idealism. Maybe that’s the problem – I’m just too idealistic.
If you’re like me, the pendulum swings both ways (balance is the beam I trip on while running between extremes), and suddenly I find myself letting go of idealism and grabbing onto an unflattering picture of reality. That picture is most often accompanied by a sense of self-righteousness, self-absorption, and self-centeredness. I’m blessed to have been given the tools to see this much more quickly and return to the idealism I hated just a moment ago…
Idealism isn’t necessarily negative though. I like being idealistic. It’s not seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, boundless optimism, and being disconnected from reality like I’ve always been told. It’s seeing the world as it is, with all its ugliness and human failures and yet choosing to see the world as it could be. I think that’s what Jesus meant when he said, “unless you become like the little children you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven”.
I can’t count the times I heard “you’ll grow out of your idealism and begin to see how things really are”, “there’s no place for idealism, it just isn’t reality”, or you’re such a Pollyanna”. I have to admit I’ve even used those words myself – usually as a defense for acting in opposition to my deep-seated values about right and wrong. Now I see this anti-idealism sentiment for what it is – a denial that there is indeed a Kingdom of Heaven. Perhaps that’s a part of what Dietrich Bonhoeffer called “cheap grace” and a willingness to carry on as a citizen of the world rather than the Kingdom of God while claiming grace for one’s self.
Jesus instructed His followers to pray for “your (God’s) kingdom come, your will be done on Earth as it is in heaven”. Nowhere did he say I can be a part of the world’s mechanics with all the division, selfishness, and false patriotism. He asked that we bring the Kingdom of God to Earth and what is the Kingdom of God but the ideal state – a place of justice, goodness, compassion, empathy, and love. So, where does that leave me?
I must return to a childlike faith that recognizes all is grace and a dependency on God. When my boys were little, they depended on me as their father for everything. That’s been the goal of my life today. I’ve spent the last few weeks wondering how I’m going to deal with the consequences of the November 5th election. It’s the same way I would act had the outcome been different – trust my Father and act accordingly.
In twelve step programs the idea of prayer is limited to praying “only knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” He makes his will clear – “love God with all your heart, mind, and soul and love your neighbor as yourself.” Seems like pretty simple, childlike instructions to me. It’s not about what other people do (which I can never understand anyway), but about what I do.
I don’t get to choose who I show love and kindness to. Quite frankly, I’m always a bit amazed when simply loving (and acting like it!) someone despite their often “unlovableness” can bring about unexpected results. It also means standing up for those bullied by the world: the marginalized and left behind. It means action.
I’m not sure what 2025 will bring. Many of my friends dread the New Year and the shitstorm that’s likely to come with it, especially after the election results of November 5th. I was angry for a couple of days and probably grieved a couple of more until I figured out it’s just the same way the world and all its powers and principalities have always worked. It doesn’t change a thing for an idealist who will continue to get up, get busy, and do what they did the day before – love God and love others. Everything else will take care of itself, and don’t forget, grow up to be a kid…
“Don’t worry about being effective. Just concentrate on being faithful to the truth.” – Dorothy Day
It’s a grey, yet glorious, Sunday morning. A gentle soaking rain started awhile ago and the dripping from the roof is a constant reminder of the gratitude I have today. I’m grateful for the rain that allows me to sit here and write rather than be at the farm irrigating (it’s been an unusually dry October). I’m grateful for the quiet of the house (I’m the only one awake). I’m grateful for the coffee that seems to be extra tasty this morning. I’m grateful for my four dogs who are all curled up and sleeping around my feet as I write this even if I can’t get up for more coffee without disturbing them. Life is just pretty darn good…
I’m truly thankful that the election is only two days away and the constant barrage of negative political ads will cease. I’m worn out simply watching the weather before I go to bed. Through much of this campaign season I’ve chosen to disconnect (not completely mind you) from the unceasing bombardment of campaign coverage, put on some great music, and get on with the day. I took advantage of early voting here in Texas and plan to offer rides to the polls on Tuesday for those that can’t drive.
I struggled with voting several years ago. As my relationship with God began to deepen, I began to realize that my true sovereign was the God of my understanding; that my citizenship likes in the Kingdom of God rather than my country of birth. If this is the case, my civic responsibility is somewhat different. I had become increasingly cynical of the electoral process anyway so maybe I should refuse to participate in the politics of empire. After all, many early Christians refused to acknowledge Ceasar as God, often with severe consequences.
My questions were answered when it occurred to me that I don’t vote for myself or my personal beliefs. I vote for others. I vote for the voiceless to give them a voice – the immigrants who are often left in the shadows. I vote for the powerless and the marginalized. I vote for all of those that fought for the opportunity to vote and to have a seat at the table. I vote for the common good. It’s not about class, color, religious beliefs, or party. What benefits the “least of these”?
That makes me responsible for going to vote. That makes us responsible for voting. I’m not going to tell anyone who to vote for a specific individual or party, but I am going to ask that we all take a moment to ask ourselves what benefits the common good; not what benefits only “me”. What is consistent with the values we claim to possess? In other words, I’m asking to look beyond our individual selfishness and seek people and policies that build our common community and unify our brutally broken population.
I don’t know what’s going to happen this Tuesday, but I do know this: I’m hopeful that we can begin to overcome the petty nonsense that divides us and return to some degree of sanity in our communal civic life. That may seem naïve to most these days, but my faith dictates that I constantly seek the best in others and act accordingly. I voted Friday and I hope you do too on Tuesday.
“Faith in God is not just faith to believe in spiritual ideas. It’s to have confidence in Love itself. It’s to have confidence in reality itself. At its core, reality is okay. God is in it. God is revealed in all things, even through the tragic and sad, as the revolutionary doctrine of the cross reveals!” —Richard Rohr, Essential Teachings on Love
gregoryjoel.com 