Author: gregoryjoel

I'm the Farm Manager for Opal's Farm - a non-profit5 acre urban farm in Fort Worth that grows for neighborhoods denied access to fresh, nutritious produce through food apartheid. I firmly believe that not only is healthy food a human right, it is also what brings us together Everyone has a seat at the table!
Autumn, Community, Down On the Farm, Farmers Markets, Food Deserts, Food Insecurity, Food Justice, Gratitude, Hope, Marginalized, Neighbors, Non-Profits, Nutrition, Opal's Farm, Regeneration, Service to Others, Social Justice, Summer, Thoughts From the Porch, Volunteers

What a Year It’s Been

gregoryjoel

September is finally here, and meteorological autumn has begun. I’d like to think that truly means the end of summer, but I live in Texas, so I know better. We’ll still see some hot days but hopefully no more triple-digit-temperatures. All-all we’ve had a mild summer compared to the last three or four years. We even had rain in July and August, which is rare indeed. Opal’s Farm, with the new fall seed, loves it.

Today is one of the one-in-seven instances that the Labor Day holiday falls on the first day of September. Those who get the day off will be spending time barbequing with family and friends or simply catching up some sorely needed rest. Thanks to the rain this morning I get to spend some time at the desk and reflect on what Labor Day truly means. Labor Day isn’t always a holiday for farmers, so I thought I’d take advantage of the weather to play catch up on the recent farm news.

Most of you all are aware of the cutbacks that led to staff layoffs at the first of the year. Add to that an April knee injury and I’ve been working a bit slower than usual this year. I also had to scale back the amount of land we were cultivating to our original one acre. The good news is that we were still able to surpass last year’s total in pounds of produce grown. That’s what happens as the soil becomes healthier with each passing season. That’s why farming regeneratively is one of our core values.

Stacey Harwood, our Volunteer Coordinator, has remained on staff although paychecks have been a bit erratic this spring and summer. She’s been with Opal’s for six years now and has become a loved member of Opal’s family (we may be a non-profit but we’re really a family farm!). She’s done an excellent job of working with our volunteers and we’ve had some great groups and individuals come out to work on the farm. If you have volunteered with us, please know there’s no way to adequately tell you how much you mean to us. We’ve been able to get so much more completed with your help. Your impact has reached far beyond just the farm to the tables and people across the communities we serve.

Help is treasured, but the reality is that most days it’s just me at the farm. That’s not always so bad though. I’ve really thought about how we can serve our community better. One way we have done that is to open Opal’s Farm Stand every Saturday from 1 PM to 3 PM at the “Doc” Sessions Community Center Parking lot (201 S. Sylvania – the corner of 4th and Sylvania).

Opal’s Farm Stand offers more affordable prices for our quality organic produce to our neighbors. We are also a SNAP/EBT retailer and began offering Double Up Bucks two weeks ago with the help of Texas Health Resources Community Hope and Double Up Texas. SNAP participants can redeem up to thirty dollars in SNAP benefits to purchase fresh produce. Those thirty dollars then becomes sixty dollars, doubling their purchasing power.

We’re still at Cowtown Farmers Market most Saturday mornings, but our emphasis is switching from so much being sold at retail to lower pricing for our community. To be honest, it’s a bit of a financial risk. It takes time to build a market location. Farmers live on slim profit margins. People fail to realize the work that goes into growing good heathy food. That’s why Cowtown offers great food at a fair price.

Unfortunately, farmers markets are not always accessible to marginalized neighborhoods: either in location or pricing. We’re so grateful to be a part of the WIC Farmers Market Nutrition Program at Cowtown. The market and our regular customers are a blessing to us. They’ve helped sustain Opal’s financially and we wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for them. However, we will be taking less produce to Cowtown so that more is available to the neighborhoods we serve through Opal’s Farm Stand.

We also want to extend a heartfelt thanks to Jesse Herrera of CoAct and the Funkytown Mindful Market. Their market is held on the first Saturday of every month at Texas Wesleyan University (1201 Wesleyan in Polytechnic Heights). They’ve been purchasing Opal’s Farm produce to sell to the Eastside neighborhoods they serve. The next market will be held on September 6th from 11 AM to 2 PM.

I would be remiss if I didn’t give a shout-out to the Dallas Wings WNBA and the Texas Fence Association. In January, they built a chain link fence around our bio-intensive third of an acre. The Dallas Wings front office spent a volunteer day at the farm and got so much done that I am in awe of them. They’ll be returning in September and the Texas Fence Association will return to fence another third of an acre (you all are amazing!).

Our first cohort of Taste the C.U.R.E., in partnership with Tarleton State University, graduated on June 28th. The students did a great job of learning and using bio-intensive farming methods. Several have kept their farm plots while others have chosen to take the knowledge they learned and apply it to their own backyards and neighborhoods. The next cohort starts in February and more details will be forthcoming.

Finally, I want to remind our readers of the importance of today, Labor Day. It was signed into law June 28th, 1894, by President Grover Cleveland following the Pullman strike and decades of struggle by the US labor movement as industrialization grew throughout the end of the nineteenth century. Labor Day is a day to remember and celebrate the sacrifices of the US labor movement and honor their achievements and the prosperity we enjoy today.

Have a great holiday. Enjoy your family and your neighbors. Stop by and see us at Opal’s Farm. We’d love to have you join the family!

Activism, Community, Down On the Farm, Education, Emotional Health, Food Equality, Food Insecurity, Food Justice, Gardening, Gratitude, Marginalized, Neighbors, Non-Profits, Opal's Farm, Relationships, Respect, Service Organizations, Service to Others, Thoughts From the Porch, Unity Unlimited, Inc., Urban Farming, Volunteers, What Can I Do

Volunteer for Opal’s Farm: Making a Difference

gregoryjoel

Volunteering for Opal’s Farm is a noble pursuit, offering the chance to give back to your community, learn new skills, and make meaningful connections. However, to maximize your impact—not just for the organization, but for yourself as well—it’s important to approach volunteering with intention, preparation, and a spirit of collaboration. This comprehensive guide explores the steps and mindset that can help you become an effective, valued volunteer for Opal’s Farm and Unity Unlimited, Inc.

Is Opal’s Right for You?

One of the cornerstones of effective volunteering is choosing the right organization. To do this, reflect on the causes or issues that resonate most deeply with you. Are you passionate about education, healthcare, the arts, social justice, or environmental sustainability? When your personal interests align with Opal’s mission, you are far more likely to remain committed and enthusiastic.

  • Research: Please visit our website http://www.unityunlimited.org/opalsfarm
  • Assess Needs: Consider the type of work Opal’s Farm does and the roles available for volunteers. Some people say that not everyone is cut out for farming. That may be true to some extent -farming is not always easy, especially in North Texas. July and August may not be the best time to volunteer because of the heat: although we have a wonderful group from KPMG that comes on August 6th (their Founder’s Day) and works all day in the summer sun (Please know how much you’re appreciated KPMG!).

If the field isn’t the place for you there’s other opportunities in both administration and marketing.

  • Contact and Inquire: Don’t hesitate to reach out to our Volunteer Coordinator, Stacey Harwood. Stacey can be reached by phone or text at 817.819.7770 and by email at opalsfarm@unityunlimited.org. Stacey can fill you in on the volunteer days, hours, and special events such as our Volunteer Appreciation Cookout every 4th of July!

Setting Realistic Expectations

Volunteering is rewarding, but it can also be challenging. To avoid burnout or disappointment, set clear, realistic expectations for your involvement.

  • Time Commitment: Some of our regular volunteers come every week, especially on harvest days, some have monthly commitments, while others simply come when they have time. We don’t require a commitment as much as we would just like you to come out and find the joy of “dirt therapy” and serving the community.
  • Skills and Contributions: Reflect on what you bring to the table. Are you offering professional expertise (such as accounting, graphic design, or event planning) or general support (like distributing food or mentoring youth)?
  • Learning and Growth: Be open to learning but also communicate if there are skills or experiences you hope to gain through volunteering. We love to help volunteers expand their farming / gardening skills. Our hope is that our volunteers carry the skills they’ve learned at the farm to their own homes and neighborhoods.

Building Relationships and Collaborating

Effective volunteering is about more than just the work you do—it’s about the relationships you build. Cultivate strong, respectful relationships with staff, fellow volunteers, and the people or communities you serve. The farm doesn’t just grow and distribute healthy, fresh produce. We strive for a community of service and fellowship, bringing all our neighbors together in unity.

  • Be Professional and Respectful: Treat everyone with kindness and consideration, regardless of position or background.
  • Communicate Clearly: If issues arise or you are unable to fulfill a commitment, let Stacey know as soon as possible. Stacey will communicate when must shift or cancel volunteer times due to special events and staffing issues as well.
  • Embrace Teamwork: Opal’s loves collaboration. Is there something we can do better or are there positive partnerships we may be missing out on.

Staying Engaged and Motivated

Sustaining motivation in a volunteer role may require effort, especially over the long term. Here are some strategies:

  • Connect with the Mission: Regularly remind yourself why you chose to volunteer. Attend organizational events, read newsletters, and celebrate successes.
  • Seek Feedback: Constructive feedback helps you improve and demonstrates that your contributions are valued.
  • Reflect on Impact: Take time to notice and appreciate the difference your efforts make, whether it’s a smile, a thank-you note, or a tangible change in your community.

Demonstrating Flexibility and Adaptability

Non-profit work can be unpredictable. Program needs may shift, funding may fluctuate, or emergencies may arise. The most effective volunteers are those who can adapt gracefully to change.

  • Be Open-Minded: Embrace new tasks or responsibilities as they come up. Versatility is a valuable asset.
  • Problem-Solve Creatively: When challenges arise, seek solutions proactively rather than focusing solely on obstacles.
  • Support Others: Offer help to fellow volunteers or staff who may be struggling, and ask for assistance when you need it.

Understanding Boundaries and Self-Care

Helping others is rewarding, but it should not come at the expense of your own well-being. Recognize your boundaries and practice self-care.

  • Know Your Limits: Don’t overextend yourself. We don’t want anyone to have issues with the weather – especially the Texas summers. Stay hydrated and take breaks when you need to. We want everyone to have a great day at the farm. Let us know if problems arise or another task is more oriented to your skills and abilities.

Measuring and Celebrating Your Impact

Regularly assessing your contributions can be highly motivating and ensures that your efforts are aligned with the organization’s goals.

  • Track Outcomes: Ask how your work fits into these larger outcomes.
  • Share Stories: Celebrate milestones—both big and small. Sharing stories of impact can inspire others and reaffirm your commitment.
  • Solicit Recognition: Don’t be shy about sharing your accomplishments with your supervisor or team, especially if you believe it may help the farm or enhance your future volunteer roles.

Continuing Your Volunteer Journey

As you grow in your role, you may discover new interests or skills. Consider taking on additional responsibilities, mentoring new volunteers, or even serving on a board or committee. Ongoing learning and engagement deepen your impact and foster a richer, more fulfilling experience.

Remember, the most effective volunteers aren’t just those who give the most time—they are the ones who give with heart, purpose, and adaptability. By approaching your volunteer work thoughtfully and proactively, you help create stronger, more resilient organizations and, ultimately, a more compassionate world.

Conclusion

Volunteering at Opal’s Farm is a powerful way to contribute to the greater good and enrich your own life. Opal’s volunteers often tell us how much it affects their physical, mental, and spiritual heath in amazingly positive ways. Whether you are volunteering for the first time or are a seasoned community member, your efforts truly matter. The journey of service is a continuous learning process, filled with opportunities for growth, connection, and real change.

Activism, Choices, Citizenship, Community, Democracy, Events, Faith, Hope, Juneteenth, Neighbors, Opal's Farm, Responsibility, Revival, Social Justice, Thoughts From the Porch, Unity Unlimited, Inc.

What a Nice Surprise

gregoryjoel

(Side Note – I just saw that my last post was on June 1st. June is always busy with all the Juneteenth activities hosted by Unity Unlimited, Inc. and Opal’s Farm. Just as a side note to all those I follow regularly – I have fallen so far behind your posts and emails that I’ve had to send them to the archives in the hope that someday I may time to read them. That’s one of the most difficult parts of this month as it deepens the sense of disconnection from the people I most enjoy. Please know that I think of you all often and hope to stay current going forward into July.)

June may be busy but it has also been full of hope and joy during a time when so many folks are struggling under the onus of grief, anger, and depression caused by the chaos, hatefulness, and uncertainty coming from Washington D.C. on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. In response to this madness, large rallies and protests were held around the country, from small villages and towns to major cities, on June 14th called “No Kings Day”. Even here in Fort Worth, a crowd of around 7500 people met at Burkburnett Park and marched through downtown Fort Worth in a peaceful, non-violent protest. The turnout was quite unexpected in this extremely conservative, deeply red, city. Moreover, it was a widely diverse crowd including moderates, progressives, and even some conservatives who stand against the heavy-handed authoritarianism coming from the current administration.

This may not sound like a big deal compared to other crowds around the country, but even during the height of the protests when George Floyd was brutally murdered in 2020, the crowd size never grew over two thousand. Perhaps more folks are beginning to see behind the MAGA curtain and becoming willing to act. I can only hope.

I was asked to speak at the rally (which was advertised as non-partisan, mind you) about the importance of changing our local food system in light of all the events we struggle with today and the importance of being able to grow our own food. I’ve always believed that planting a garden is a revolutionary act. It changes the perception of both the grower and the food system itself. Local food is a threat to the old ways of the distribution of ultra-processed, unhealthy, food void of proper nutrients, particularly in vulnerable urban neighborhoods.

Juneteenth was only a few days later and there was no shortage of Juneteenth activities this year even though many other cities cancelled or cutback their celebrations this year. Ms. Opal Lee’s annual “Walk for Freedom” was supported by over 2600 walkers this year in Fort Worth; not the mention those that participated in our host cities – New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Tokyo, Japan – or walked virtually in their own towns across the country and the world. I got a post from New Zealand about a young lady whose family joined in the walk despite the twenty-hour time difference!

We finished the week on Sunday with Sen. Bernie Sanders and the “Fighting Oligarchy” tour at Dickies Arena here in Fort Worth. His commitment to speaking to truth in deeply red states is sorely needed and appreciated in times like these. I’m a firm believer that had the DNC party apparatus not blocked him from of the 2016 Presidential nomination in favor of Hillary Clinton, things would be much different today. Just saying…

The events of this June here in conservative Tarrant County, Texas have given me a glimmer of hope. These days I will take hope wherever and however I find it. I think we all should. The constant onslaught of chaos and immoral policies (note that these are immoral, not simple political policies and choices – I’m not speaking from a political framework) drives us all to a state of hopelessness. That’s exactly where the powers that be want us to be. It’s easier to control and hurt quiet people. Thanks Fort Worth for making your voice louder this month. Now let’s get louder…

Activism, Citizenship, Community, Down On the Farm, Education, Equal Rights, Events, Faith, Freedom, Gratitude, Heroes, Hope, Prayer, Quotes, Thoughts From the Porch, Unity Unlimited, Inc., Urban Farming, Volunteers, What Can I Do

A Celebration of Freedom

gregoryjoel

It’s hard to believe that June is already here. I haven’t written much this Spring due to how busy it’s been at the farm. I beat myself up pretty good for not keeping up with our social media and my writing, but I’ve finally given myself a break and returned to “it gets done when it gets done”. Do the best you can each day and go to bed knowing that you did everything that needed to be done today. The farm, and life really, moves at its own pace and we do the best we can do and learn to let go…

Opal’s Farm has had some great volunteer groups this Spring as well as our wonderful regular volunteers. I’m not going to mention you by name simply because I don’t have space to list you all. I want to let you know how appreciated you are. I’m not confused. I know for certain that without you Opal’s Farm wouldn’t be there to provide food and access to healthy food for so many of our neighbors. Please know that every task you help with is another healthy meal served for those that need it most.

I’m always surprised when our corporate volunteers, who often come from some very conservative businesses, talk about the craziness we are all experiencing on a daily basis if one listens to even a small portion of the daily news. The chaos of the last four months has reached each one of us in some way and the thing I hear the most is “What can I do?” Sometimes it’s asked with a genuine desire to find a course of action that really says something to the powers that be but mostly it comes with a deep sense of helplessness, powerlessness, and quiet resignation.

I certainly don’t have the answers. Fortunately, I have the honor and privilege of working with my grandmother (I know she’s everyone’s grandmother, but she told me I’ve been adopted), Dr. Opal Lee; nationally known as “The Grandmother of Juneteenth”. In addition to the farm, and perhaps most importantly, is my annual Juneteenth work and celebration. Juneteenth and Opal’s Farm are about bringing all people, regardless of race, religion, sexual identity, culture, or political beliefs to the table together. As Dr. Opal has told me any times, “It’s not a Texas thing, it’s not a Black thing, it’s a unifier.” There is a way for everyone to show our support for freedom and unity. Celebrate Juneteenth together!

Juneteenth celebrations are more important than ever this year. According to Dr. Charles M Blow, “many cities have cancelled Juneteenth (celebrations)”: mostly out of fear of being considered “DEI” and the current erasure of anything having to do with Black culture and history. ( https://www.cbsnews.com/news/from-celebrating-juneteenth-to-the-erasure-of-black-history-charles-m-blow-on-america-today/ ).

Juneteenth is not a “DEI” initiative. It’s a national holiday that passed with bipartisan support. Even the man currently in the White House (I still can’t say his name aloud or in print) tried to appeal to Black voters in 2020 by making Juneteenth a federal holiday in the last days of his previous administration.

Juneteenth is a day for all of us to remember that freedom is for everyone especially those had had been enslaved. We haven’t cancelled our Juneteenth Celebration here in Fort Worth. We still started our month-long celebration with the Ecumenical Breakfast of Prayer last Friday. The Miss Juneteenth Scholarship Pageant was on Saturday. This coming Saturday will be the stage play, Timmy’s Dance, followed by the “Walk for Freedom” on the 19th, the 1K Women Strong Legacy Awards Breakfast on the 20th,” Empowering You”, a job, health, and education fair on the 21st. The month of activities closes with “Your Voice Unleashed” – a week-long program for our young people including the culinary arts, music, and the choir concert.

We will be walking 2.5 miles (to symbolize the 2.5 years it took for the enslaved people in Texas to discover they were freed) with Dr. Opal on the 19th at 9:00 AM. The walk is timed with our sponsor cities across time zones – New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Tokyo, Japan – so that everyone will be walking at the same time.

We also have a virtual walk for those too far away from Fort Worth or our sponsor cities. We encourage everyone to get their “2.5” on and walk with your friends wherever you are. It’s a beautiful show of unity to demonstrate our love for freedom, especially in these difficult times.

I invite everyone to join us in the “Walk for Freedom”. We’d love to hear from those who walk in their own cities and towns. The Walk will be held next year in Washington D.C. in conjunction with the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence. We’d love to have 1.5 million people walking together across the country to symbolize the 1.5 million signatures on the petition Dr. Opal delivered to Congress that led to the Juneteenth holiday in 2021.

Animal Shelters, Connection, Courage, Dogs, Events, Faith, Gratitude, Grief, Horses, Identification, Love, Pets, Prayer, Quotes, Relationships, Spirituality, Stories, Thoughts From the Porch, Writing

Dogs, Horses, and Maddie

gregoryjoel

I went to the farm Sunday afternoon to water the newly seeded beds. It may have rained a lot of last week, but new seedlings require consistent water to germinate well. Besides, I like Sunday afternoons. I enjoy the solitude of the day. It’s quiet except for the occasional bicyclists whizzing down the Trinity Trail, encouraging each other as they ride past.

I noticed a grey compact car parked toward the back of the empty lot in front of our barn. It’s not unusual for people to park in the vacant lot and walk down to fish or walk the trails so I paid it no mind. I drove down to dump compost before returning to open the barn and getting the generator out. As I unlocked the barn, I caught a glimpse of an older man sitting in the grass next to the tree in the vacant lot. He grabbed my attention because he didn’t look like most of the folks going fishing or the homeless people that frequent this part of Sylvania Street and the Trinity Trail. He was dressed in a sport shirt and jeans, his hair neatly combed, and gave off a fatherly aura, if there is such a thing.

It was then I noticed who he was talking to. It was a beautiful black and brown German Shepherd. I looked back at the barn door quickly as if my eyes had intruded on a very important and precious moment. I don’t know anything about that man or his dog, but I do know about something about men and their dogs (no offense to my wife or all the other female dog lovers). There was something deeply personal and tender about what I had seen. There was a sense of sadness in the picture. It was as if he were saying goodbye to an old friend. Could it be that he was spending his last day with his faithful friend? I have no reason to know this was the case except for the feeling in my gut. A tear blurred my vision as I opened the door and stepped into the barn.

I hurriedly loaded my truck with the generator and some tools and left as quietly and as quickly as I could. I went about my chores but couldn’t shake the image I had just witnessed.

I’ve always had a special relationship with all the dogs who have graced my life. I’m convinced that the world needs more dogs (and horses but that’s another story…) and less people. It’s no surprise to me that dog is simply “god” spelled backwards. They share the unconditional love quality of the Creator. I needed to be around such unconditional love more than ever. That’s when Maddie, and a couple of months later Missy, came to live with me.

Maddie was half Dachshund and half German Shepherd. I’m not sure which one was the father, but I’m convinced it was not the Dachshund. I can’t figure how that would’ve worked if it was. She looked like a Dachshund with a semi-German Shepherd head. My first thought was that she was so ugly she was cute. That changed soon enough.

 Maddie was eleven years old when she came into my life. Her owner had lived at Samaritan House, a transitional housing place for homeless folks with HIV/AIDS, and been the caretaker for the house dog, Maddie. The two became inseparable. When her owner moved into her own place Maddie went with her. Unfortunately, her owner passed the same year I found myself at Samaritan House and getting clean from too many years of addiction.

Her owner’s sister brought Maddie back to Samaritan House because the only other alternative for her was the shelter. I volunteered to keep her, and we bonded immediately. She became my dog.

Three months later Missy came into our home. I was doing some landscape work for a friend. She had two dogs: one a Boston Terrier and the other a Sheltie named Missy. She had taken Missy in from a breeder and then discovered she was incredibly allergic to Missy’s long hair. She asked if I would like to take her. I said yes without hesitation even though I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to have her in my little apartment. Moreover, I wasn’t sure how it would work with Maddie. I’d figure it out. When my friend said her good-byes to Missy, I opened my truck door and Missy jumped in. She never looked back.

I finally moved from Samaritan House to my very own place. It didn’t have a fence, but I didn’t have to worry about the dogs. Missy kept Maddie safe and would always herd Maddie back to the house when she wandered off. She got along well with Maddie, but Maddie made sure everyone knew she was the alpha in our little pack. Maddie would stand at the food bowls, while Missy waited patiently for Maddie to finish eating. Maddie would empty her bowl, walk over to Missy’s bowl, and lick the top and sides of the food bowl just to show she could.  She wouldn’t eat any mind you, but she made it quite clear who was in charge. When bedtime came Maddie slept by my head and Missy slept at my feet.

Maddie was eleven years old when she came to live with me. I knew when I took her in that I may not have her long. Despite the tendency of Dachshunds and Shepherds to have hip and back issues as they age, Maddie never had those problems.  She may have slowed a bit, but she was full of energy, bringing joy and love to my home.

\When I moved in with my “adopted brother” Craig a couple of years later, she wormed her way into his heart. The dogs who would “have to stay outside” still slept with me and often took on the role of service dog to Craig. He had severe diabetes and both Missy and Maddie warned me when his blood sugar dropped too low. He often told me how special they were to him.

It was 2011 and the morning was unusually hot and humid for the early Spring. I began my morning ritual of letting the dogs outside and making the morning coffee. Missy bound out the back door, but Maddie stayed in her bed. She had given up sleeping with me a few weeks earlier. She could no longer jump up on the bed and preferred her little mattress on the floor next to me. She had been sleeping more than usual, but at the ripe old age of sixteen she was entitled to take her time waking up.

I finished my morning ritual and headed off to work. Missy was at the door when I returned. She was running back and forth to my bedroom, baking for me to follow. Maddie was still in her bed. I reached down to love on her when I noticed she had messed on herself. I gently picked her up, cleaned her off, and placed her on the bed next to me. Missy sat at attention with a concerned look on her face. Maddie hadn’t eaten in a couple of days and now she even refused the dog treat I offered her. I knew it was her time. I began to sob uncontrollably, hugging my sweet Maddie as she laid her head in my lap.

I agonized over the decision I knew I had to make. Maybe she had caught a bug, or it was something she ate and she’ll be better in the morning. I knew it was simply wishful thinking. She had lived a long full life, loving those of us who God put in her path – at Samaritan House, with her caretaker, and with me. She was a rescue dog who really the rescuer. I had been given time with her I never expected and now couldn’t think of life without Maddie. Even Missy could sense that the end was near and come over to love on Maddie and I.

I didn’t sleep much that night. I checked on Maddie frequently through the night to make sure she was comfortable. When morning came, I told Craig what I had to do. He sat down with me in our morning coffee spot – his garage wood shop – and asked if he could pray for us. We prayed together; both choking back the tears. He shared my pain and knew he couldn’t fix the problem. He could be there for me. I’ve been blessed by the people God has put in my life as well. That point isn’t lost on me.

I got showered and dressed slowly. Every moment felt like a weight keeping me down and struggling to just “be”. I wrapped a blanket around Maddie and gently picked her up. Missy followed us to the truck and stopped short. She knew that it would only be Maddie and I leaving today. I think she knew that only I would be returning.

I drove to the Humane Society shelter – the same one Maddie had come from all those years ago – and explained our situation to the receptionist. I couldn’t afford a veterinarian, but I couldn’t let Maddie suffer any longer. She was so kind and said to simply donate what I could at another time. She called the veterinary tech while I left to bring Maddie from the truck.

We went to a private room behind the office. There the tech explained to me what he was going to be doing, that Maddie would simply go to sleep, and asked if I wanted to stay with Maddie. There was no question. I had to be there to love her until the end. He then brought out the syringe and administered the shot. “It might take a few minutes”, he said, “because her metabolism has slowed so much.” I wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. I didn’t want to leave Maddie, but I felt myself breaking down. Maddie’s breath began to slow. She looked at me one last time as I held her.

Maddie took her last breath and died in my arms. The tech said to take as much time as I needed. The receptionist brought me a note, thanking Maddie for her years of service to the HIV community and with it a note about the Rainbow Bridge:

“Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….”

Author unknown…

I don’t know if the man I saw was going through these same feelings or the same situation. What I do know is that whatever he was going through his faithful companion would be there until the end. That’s what dogs do.

One of my favorite author, Brennan Manning, tells a story of watching a dog being dumped on the side of the road. As the car sped off, the dog ran down the road chasing the car, pursuing his owner with all his might even though he was rejected and abandoned. God is like that with us. Regardless of how much we have rejected and abandoned Him he pursues us with His unwavering love and forgiveness, wanting to be with us every no matter what.

I guess that’s why Dog is God spelled backwards…