The arctic front has made its way east and we’re slowly rebounding from last weekend’s ice storm. I still can’t get much done at the farm, so I’ve been working from home the last few days. I’ve been blessed to have quiet meditation time in the morning, unhurried by the usual morning rituals that precede a workday at the farm.
Given the atrocities happening in Minnesota and the constant cruelty and hate coming from our nation’s capital, I’ve found myself reading the Book of Isaiah this morning. The prophets remind me that religious nationalism, authoritarian regimes, corruption, and abusive power have always plagued societies long before us. History and the prophets tell me we’ve been through this before. They also remind me that there’s a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel – that evil doesn’t prevail. I must hang on to that. Otherwise, hopelessness rears its ugly head.
This morning, I found a gem in Isaiah 33.15 (in The Message Bible) that offers me hope for today.
“The answer’s simple:
Live right,
Speak the truth,
despise exploitation,
refuse bribes,
reject violence,
avoid evil amusements.
I also find hope in the people of Minneapolis who have braved sub-zero weather to “speak the truth, despise exploitation”, and look out for their neighbors in the face of terrible atrocities carried out by ICE and the current administration. They’ve refused bribes (“we’ll leave if you give us your voter rolls” -another ploy to fix the next election). They’ve rejected violence, answering violence with peaceful protest. Unlike the ICE agents who celebrated the lynching of Alex Pretti (watch the video) or the constant laughing at another’s pain, they’ve rejected such evil amusements.
I needed the reminder today that no matter how I feel (does “really pissed off”, hurt and grieving resonate with you?), I can heed Isaiah’s words. There is hope. Jesus even made clearer by reminding me that loving God and loving others takes care of everything else. It enables me to “speak the truth, despise exploitation, refuse bribes, reject violence, avoid evil amusements” too…
My first year at Opal’s Farm was interesting to say the least. I’d never farmed. I’d had lots of experience with community gardens, but I had never farmed. I only had a few hand tools and a BCS two-wheeled tractor, a wide-open space to use it, and I was the only laborer to do so. There was no money in the farm account and even what little seed we had was donated. That also meant I didn’t get paid unless some grant money came through or we had a huge harvest – neither of which appeared to be happening soon.
Fortunately, I had a great mentor come into my life, Charlie Blaylock, who owned Shines Farmstand, guided me through the process of becoming a farmer. A month into the project I received help from our first volunteer, Brendan, who stayed with me every day through that first growing season. He put that BCS tractor to work. Although our first growing season met with some moderate success it was nowhere near enough to get paid so I went without a paycheck for the first year.
I believed in the farm. My wife and I had a very small savings account to draw on, and although it wasn’t near enough to pay all the bills, I went to work each day. The money finally ran out in October, and I was so worried and stressed out to the point that I came home and told Margaret that I was going to have to go work elsewhere. My wife, who is one of the most spiritual and faithful people I know, looked at me and said, “Greg, we prayed for a long time about this, and I know this is where God wants you to be. Give it another month before you decide what to do”.
I exclaimed, “Baby, we’ll lose the house if we can’t make the mortgage payment!”
She smiled and simply said, “We had a roof over our heads when we moved in didn’t we?” Needless to say, I’m still there seven years later and the farm is thriving.
You see, I received a call from our Executive Director at eight o’clock the following morning. She told me we’d received a grant from Visit Fort Worth, and she’d have a check for me later that day. I called my wife and told her the great news and stopped to have a little conversation with God. “God, I’m stubborn and thickheaded. I know you told me not to worry about things like that. You have my back. It’s all yours from now on. I’m just going to do the work you gave me each day and you take care of the rest.”
I’ve told this story many times over the last seven years. I’ve even had to remind myself several times this year when funding cuts led to staff layoffs and irregular paychecks. Texas Health Community Hope and the Conservation and Environment Fund at North Texas Community Foundation stepped up to help us in enormous ways to continue the great work at Opal’s Farm.
I’d like to say that my life is free of worry, but that would be a lie. I just worry less about myself and more about others. It seems there’s a lot to worry about these days with all the chaos, hatred, and harm being directed at folks, but doing what I can to ease another’s burden, especially in food justice and serving the marginalized communities around us, there’s less worry and more action.
I don’t worry (well, most of the time anyway…) about results and just do the work. I also remember I spent way too much of life worrying about things that just didn’t matter. I have “enough” and life’s pretty damn good.
From another patron saint of Texas music and one of Fort Worth’s favorite sons – Delbert McClinton along with the great Francine Reed.
“There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” – G. K. Chesterton
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
“The world says, the more you take, the more you have. Christ says, the more you give, the more you are.” — Frederick Buechner
It’s been an interesting Spring at Opal’s Farm. I’ve been busier than a one-armed paper hanger as my uncle used to say.
For one thing, I received a letter from the Social Security Administration this week. It said I’ve reached the age where I am now considered retired. I have to laugh when I realize Ms. Opal “retired” the year after I graduated high school. If that’s what retirement looks like, then I’m grateful for it. It means I can focus on loving and serving others full-time just like her. At ninety-eight, she reminds me that she just keeps running forward so the good Lord can’t catch her to take her home. Besides, there’s so much more to do. Especially now…
The other thing that happened is a little less humorous. My left knee blew out on me last Wednesday as I was putting tools away for the day. That wouldn’t have been unusual as it tends to happen now that I’m old enough to suffer the consequences of an overactive youth. This time was different. It didn’t stop hurting the next day and the pain was in a different part of my knee and increasing rather than decreasing. I decided Friday afternoon I had better go to the ER and have it checked out.
Fortunately, nothing is broken, but since X-rays don’t show cartilage or ligament damage, I’ll be seeing the orthopedic surgeon this week. Moreover, the ER doc said I had a lot of arthritis, and the next step was a knee replacement. I feared that might be the case. I guess I’ll find out this week. It’s a pretty big bump in the road.
He also told me to take steroids and pain medicine, wear the immobilizer, use the crutches, and stay off my knee for a few days. I can take medication. I can use the immobilizer most of the time. I can even use the crutches sometimes. However, for a farmer four days of bed rest isn’t possible this time of year. My doctor and I have an agreement – I don’t tell him how to practice medicine and he doesn’t tell me how to farm.
I went market and “Taste the C.U.R.E” class yesterday. If people ask me what happened I simply tell the truth – I got older!
I guess there’s more news to come and a lot of decisions to be made. I’ll just hobble along and work on the farm until then. I’m going to be much slower so I’m extra grateful for the volunteers we have right now. Spring is the busiest time of year for farmers and Opal’s is no exception. The farm still needs daily care. I’ll be there as long as the good Lord lets me, but we need extra volunteer help right now. Please think of us if you have a little spare time and want to get you’re hands dirty. After all, dirt don’t hurt.
Happy New Year to you all! I find this a time of reflection on the past year and look forward toward the new one. I haven’t been in the best place emotionally during the holidays since my son passed away four-and-a-half years ago (he was born on Christmas Day), so reflection comes much easier this time of year. If there is anything positive about grief is that it makes reflection more honest.
If I’m honest, 2024 was a difficult year. It really doesn’t apply to the farm – we’re having record year. I have been blessed to have found two good men to be part of our mission and I give all the credit to their independent thinking, hard work, and new ideas. I’ve been able to let go of several work things because I have good people to help me walk this path together. It’s been my personal life that has been difficult. Difficulties seem to be directly tied the growth rates – the more growth that occurs, the greater the degree of difficulty. Actually, come to think of it, it’s not the changes growth brings that bring on the difficulty, but my resistance to the changes.
Most of the time I’m a pretty levelheaded, compassionate, person: at least that’s what people tell me. The Golden Rule has become a guidepost for most of my interactions with people, but I found myself holding folks to a set of unrealistic expectations. Experience has taught me that whenever I place expectations on others, I’m bound to be disappointed.
However, take the expectations away and people will be people. They’ll make decisions that baffle me (the election of the Great Pumpkin) and they certainly won’t change when I want them to. People are unintentionally uncooperative. I don’t get it, but then again, I don’t have to get it. Reality often conflicts with idealism. Maybe that’s the problem – I’m just too idealistic.
If you’re like me, the pendulum swings both ways (balance is the beam I trip on while running between extremes), and suddenly I find myself letting go of idealism and grabbing onto an unflattering picture of reality. That picture is most often accompanied by a sense of self-righteousness, self-absorption, and self-centeredness. I’m blessed to have been given the tools to see this much more quickly and return to the idealism I hated just a moment ago…
Idealism isn’t necessarily negative though. I like being idealistic. It’s not seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, boundless optimism, and being disconnected from reality like I’ve always been told. It’s seeing the world as it is, with all its ugliness and human failures and yet choosing to see the world as it could be. I think that’s what Jesus meant when he said, “unless you become like the little children you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven”.
I can’t count the times I heard “you’ll grow out of your idealism and begin to see how things really are”, “there’s no place for idealism, it just isn’t reality”, or you’re such a Pollyanna”. I have to admit I’ve even used those words myself – usually as a defense for acting in opposition to my deep-seated values about right and wrong. Now I see this anti-idealism sentiment for what it is – a denial that there is indeed a Kingdom of Heaven. Perhaps that’s a part of what Dietrich Bonhoeffer called “cheap grace” and a willingness to carry on as a citizen of the world rather than the Kingdom of God while claiming grace for one’s self.
Jesus instructed His followers to pray for “your (God’s) kingdom come, your will be done on Earth as it is in heaven”. Nowhere did he say I can be a part of the world’s mechanics with all the division, selfishness, and false patriotism. He asked that we bring the Kingdom of God to Earth and what is the Kingdom of God but the ideal state – a place of justice, goodness, compassion, empathy, and love. So, where does that leave me?
I must return to a childlike faith that recognizes all is grace and a dependency on God. When my boys were little, they depended on me as their father for everything. That’s been the goal of my life today. I’ve spent the last few weeks wondering how I’m going to deal with the consequences of the November 5th election. It’s the same way I would act had the outcome been different – trust my Father and act accordingly.
In twelve step programs the idea of prayer is limited to praying “only knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” He makes his will clear – “love God with all your heart, mind, and soul and love your neighbor as yourself.” Seems like pretty simple, childlike instructions to me. It’s not about what other people do (which I can never understand anyway), but about what I do.
I don’t get to choose who I show love and kindness to. Quite frankly, I’m always a bit amazed when simply loving (and acting like it!) someone despite their often “unlovableness” can bring about unexpected results. It also means standing up for those bullied by the world: the marginalized and left behind. It means action.
I’m not sure what 2025 will bring. Many of my friends dread the New Year and the shitstorm that’s likely to come with it, especially after the election results of November 5th. I was angry for a couple of days and probably grieved a couple of more until I figured out it’s just the same way the world and all its powers and principalities have always worked. It doesn’t change a thing for an idealist who will continue to get up, get busy, and do what they did the day before – love God and love others. Everything else will take care of itself, and don’t forget, grow up to be a kid…
“Don’t worry about being effective. Just concentrate on being faithful to the truth.” – Dorothy Day
It’s a grey, yet glorious, Sunday morning. A gentle soaking rain started awhile ago and the dripping from the roof is a constant reminder of the gratitude I have today. I’m grateful for the rain that allows me to sit here and write rather than be at the farm irrigating (it’s been an unusually dry October). I’m grateful for the quiet of the house (I’m the only one awake). I’m grateful for the coffee that seems to be extra tasty this morning. I’m grateful for my four dogs who are all curled up and sleeping around my feet as I write this even if I can’t get up for more coffee without disturbing them. Life is just pretty darn good…
I’m truly thankful that the election is only two days away and the constant barrage of negative political ads will cease. I’m worn out simply watching the weather before I go to bed. Through much of this campaign season I’ve chosen to disconnect (not completely mind you) from the unceasing bombardment of campaign coverage, put on some great music, and get on with the day. I took advantage of early voting here in Texas and plan to offer rides to the polls on Tuesday for those that can’t drive.
I struggled with voting several years ago. As my relationship with God began to deepen, I began to realize that my true sovereign was the God of my understanding; that my citizenship likes in the Kingdom of God rather than my country of birth. If this is the case, my civic responsibility is somewhat different. I had become increasingly cynical of the electoral process anyway so maybe I should refuse to participate in the politics of empire. After all, many early Christians refused to acknowledge Ceasar as God, often with severe consequences.
My questions were answered when it occurred to me that I don’t vote for myself or my personal beliefs. I vote for others. I vote for the voiceless to give them a voice – the immigrants who are often left in the shadows. I vote for the powerless and the marginalized. I vote for all of those that fought for the opportunity to vote and to have a seat at the table. I vote for the common good. It’s not about class, color, religious beliefs, or party. What benefits the “least of these”?
That makes me responsible for going to vote. That makes us responsible for voting. I’m not going to tell anyone who to vote for a specific individual or party, but I am going to ask that we all take a moment to ask ourselves what benefits the common good; not what benefits only “me”. What is consistent with the values we claim to possess? In other words, I’m asking to look beyond our individual selfishness and seek people and policies that build our common community and unify our brutally broken population.
I don’t know what’s going to happen this Tuesday, but I do know this: I’m hopeful that we can begin to overcome the petty nonsense that divides us and return to some degree of sanity in our communal civic life. That may seem naïve to most these days, but my faith dictates that I constantly seek the best in others and act accordingly. I voted Friday and I hope you do too on Tuesday.
“Faith in God is not just faith to believe in spiritual ideas. It’s to have confidence in Love itself. It’s to have confidence in reality itself. At its core, reality is okay. God is in it. God is revealed in all things, even through the tragic and sad, as the revolutionary doctrine of the cross reveals!” —Richard Rohr, Essential Teachings on Love
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