Bad Weather, Choices, Climate Change, Community, Connection, Creation, Down On the Farm, Events, Family, Farmers Markets, Goodness, Grace, Gratitude, Hope, Letting Go, Marginalized, Non-Profits, Opal's Farm, Pets, Positive Thinking, Prayer, Preparation, Regeneration, Relationships, Rescue Animals, Service Organizations, Service to Others, Spirituality, Texas, Thoughts From the Porch, Trinity River, Unity Unlimited, Inc., Urban Farming

Burrrr…

The scene beyond my window is rather drab. A blast of cold Arctic air exploded across North Texas yesterday afternoon. It brought with it the cutting icy North wind that plagues the Southern plains every winter. The “feels like” temperatures this morning were in the single digits and they’re predicting eighty-plus hours below freezing and sleet for this evening. Folks in these parts are understandably nervous. Ice brings out the worst in Texas drivers and the memory of Winter Storm Uri in 2021 is still fresh to anyone who lived here then. The power grid crashed, Texans went for days without power and water, and 246 people died from storm-related issues.

Last year saw a major ice storm at the end of January. We were at the Texas Organic Farmers and Gardeners Association Conference in Dallas and left early because of the roads. One of our employees ended up staying at the motel that night. One night turned into a week. Texans do not do well in cold weather. It doesn’t storm often but when it does look out!

Fortunately, we’ve had ample time to prepare for this Arctic visitor. Store shelves are empty of non-perishables and bottled water. Gas tanks are full and homes lucky enough to have a generator are standing by. People take the weather forecast a bit more seriously since the winter of ’21.

( Opal’s Farm and the frozen Trinity River February 2021 )

Personally, I haven’t had much time to prepare our house. I still must make a run to Home Depot. My neighbor said they had some outdoor faucet covers hidden in the back of the store. Information like that is like finding gold. We try to take care of each other in our neighborhood. I have, however, taken steps to prepare Opal’s Farm the best we can to save our winter crops. Frost cloth has been double-spread on the bio-intensive section and several of the hundred-foot rows. Prayers have been said, fingers have been crossed, and if I had a rabbit’s foot, I’m sure I’d be holding it close. We’ll keep you posted…

On a lighter, and somewhat warmer note (it was cool but warmer yesterday), we moved Opal’s Farm Stand hours to Saturday afternoons from 1:30 PM to 4:00 PM. We found his to be more convenient for our neighbors and the traffic on Sylvania isn’t rushing between jobs. We had several customers yesterday afternoon. This complements our mornings at Cowtown Farmers Market and our delivery for Hao’s Grocery and Café. We can harvest once a week to bring quality fresh produce to our community.

Anyway…

My fur-babies don’t seem to be bothered by the single-digit temperatures. They are out running around and playing as I sit here. Sitting here watching them got me to thinking about this blog. I’ve always called it “Thoughts From the Porch” because that was the place my thoughts and coffee ran freely since this journey began. I no longer spend my mornings on the front porch. It’s not because it’s cold. When you smoke it really doesn’t matter if it’s the summer Texas heat or the winter freeze, you’re driven to suffer outside.

However, that changed on November 1st of last year. That’s the day I quit smoking. I’ve been cigarette-less since then. The cravings have become less severe most of the time. The operative word being “most”. Other days – not so much. Staying off the porch has been a good move so here I sit. I still get a good view of the world through the patio door next to my office. It’s a constant reminder of God’s goodness and grace in our lives.

Maybe it’s time to find another name for this? Let me know your thoughts!

Please stay warm and safe through this cold snap. Stay inside, make it a family day or a day of introspection. Enjoy the time and pray the lights don’t go out…

Belief, Communication, Creation, Dogs, Faith, Gratitude, Grief, Love, Opal's Farm, Pets, Relationships, Rescue Animals, Spirituality, Stories, Thoughts From the Porch

Dr. Doolittle Kind of Stuff

We opened our first farmstand of the year at Opal’s Farm on Friday. We anticipated a slow day as it takes time for folks to realize we’re there. True to form, it was a very slow day. A couple of people stopped to ask if we’d be there after work. We’re discovering that the time may not be good for the neighborhood so we will most likely change to Saturday afternoons. We’ll keep everyone in the loop as we discuss those changes this week.

For most of the first couple of hours a small black Corgi-mix and a Chihuahua walked up and down the yards across the street. Stacey, our Volunteer Coordinator, and I were talking to a couple of friends who’d stopped to visit buy some fresh produce and tour the farm. One of our visitors had brought her new dog and her dog caught the attention of the two across the street and they began to venture across Sylvania.

Sylvania is a busy street with traffic that tends to go faster than the thirty-five-miles-per hour-speed limit. We all watched in alarm as they tried to come across the street to make a new friend. They managed to dodge the first round of cars and went back to their side of the street until there was a pause in the traffic. When they tried again a single Lexas SUV came flying down the road. The little black dog escaped safely. The little Chihuahua did not. I don’t wish to be graphic but some of us saw the accident and all four of us heard the loud crunch as the Lexus hit the Chihuahua. It was quite upsetting to a group of dog lovers – especially when the Lexus continued at full-speed down the road, never stopping to check on the dog.

The little black dog walked back out on the street to check on his friend. I ran over to see if his buddy was still alive. Fortunately, it wasn’t. The hit has been loud and fast. Most likely the poor Chihuahua was dead on impact. It was a small comfort to my friends who were crying.

I gently took the body and laid it on the grass. The small black Corgi-mix came over to his friend and sat by the body. He periodically would head a short way in the direction they had originally come from, but always stopped and looked to see if his running buddy was coming and returned to his friend. This went on for about an hour before he headed off to his home around the corner. I followed him to see if I could find the owner. I found his house but not the Chihuahua’s.

I debated telling this story because of its graphic nature. It was upsetting to watch. I’m a dog guy. I have four of them and I love them dearly. My kids and grandkids are out of the house. Jamison, Sadie, Ricky, and Lucy are like our kids. They’re family and, to many of our friends’ chagrin, they are treated as such. I know I’m not alone in this. Just see how many billions of dollars the pet care industry makes per year.

Yet in watching the little black Corgi-mix’s concern (and what I believe was grief) I became acutely aware of our connection to other living beings in our world. I know the human tendency to anthropomorphize our furry (and not so furry) friends. I’m sure that there are many examples that may support this. Science debunks many of the things we attribute to human-like behaviors and emotions in the animal kingdom. It thinks of them as having simply natural, instinctive behaviors. However, they can’t measure or even observe the spiritual connections that are prevalent in the animal kingdom.

I’ve always been taught that language is what differentiated homo sapiens from the rest of the animal kingdom. Recent scientific studies have revealed that the same gene that helps enable language in humans is present in many birds, reptiles, and mice. Studies have shown that other species have the ability to learn new ways to communicate amongst themselves. Language isn’t unique the human beings after all.

Many humans have known this all along on a much deeper spiritual level. Some ancient theological text, such as the books that weren’t canonized into the Hebrew or Christian Bibles, like the books of Enoch, refer to a time when all created beings shared the same language and communication. Indigenous cultures around the world respect the connection between the natural world and humans. They act accordingly and treat creation with care. Saint Francis of Assisi, the founder of the Franciscan order, talked about Brother Sun and Sister Moon – that all created beings are part of one family and should be treated and respected as such. Ask any pet owner if their pet communicates with them. The answer is a resounding yes!

I don’t pretend to be a scientist so whatever I think is simply my personal belief and experience. I would like to think that my dogs are spiritual guides of a sort. It’s no wonder that “dog” is “God spelled backwards. They are loved and give love unconditionally. They experience grief and loss and can tell when I am going through the same. When Missy, my Sheltie passed we buried her in the backyard and placed a stone marker on her grave. Several weeks later, Jamison came to live with us (all our dogs are rescues) and when he went into our backyard for the first time, he walked to Missy’s grave and sat down very respectfully. I’d like to think he honored her and promised her to take care of Margaret and I – which he’s done extremely well.

All four of our fur-babies know when something is going on with us and often respond accordingly. As I sit here working at the computer, Ricky and Lucy are outside playing. Periodically, Ricky comes running in, noses my arm, and checks on me. I love on him for a minute and off he runs out the door to play with his sister.

I see this kind of behavior with other animals as well. We have had a farm hawk for the last couple of years – Ethan – yes, Ethan Hawk. Ethan would follow me through the field as I cleared it each season for new planting. I would chase field mice as I cleared the field and Ethan would gobble up as quickly as he could. He’d stand next to me while doing so. He’d often sit on the bucket of my tractor and “talk” to me.

We loved having Ethan around. He was a magnificent Cooper’s Hawk. We knew that he and his mate – who was usually close by – would leave for a couple of months each summer and come back in the Fall. He and his mate didn’t return this year. We wondered if he was okay and were worried about him. Although he didn’t return, a young Cooper’s Hawk did. He came down and sat on the tractor the other day. I could swear he was Ethan Jr. and tried to let me know. He then flew to Ethan’s tree where he appears to have a nest now. The tradition continues…

I don’t discount science in any way. It explains so much and helps me be a better farmer. However, I intend to continue believing that Spirit is what connects us to each other and to the whole of God’s creation. I’ll continue to treat the natural world as family and do my best to love, nurture, and protect it. After all, isn’t that what we do for family…

Awe, Belief, Choices, Christian Mysticism, Connection, Emotional Health, Faith, Freedom, Grace, Gratitude, Miracles, Quotes, Rescue Animals, Serenity, Service to Others, Simplicity, Spirituality, Springtime, Thoughts From the Porch

Enough is Enough

I sat on the porch this morning drinking coffee and soaking in the morning. It’s been sprinkling off and on all morning but not enough to keep the mockingbirds and the doves from their vibrant singing and cooing. It’s been unseasonably cool and overcast this morning, but the birds reminded me Spring is really here.

It’s times like these I see how blessed I am. I most certainly don’t deserve it. I spent most of my life making poor choices and living the way addiction dictated how I live. It wasn’t until almost twenty years ago that I finally surrendered, choosing life, and living in the Spirit as best I can. I haven’t been wealthy – this is not another “Prosperity Gospel” tale – but I’ve always had enough. Enough truly is enough…

I was speaking with a friend the other day. They have lived a life of escaping poverty. They grew up in the rural Midwest where the average income was less than ten thousand dollars a year (substantially less) and they didn’t even have electricity for many years of their young life. It’s still difficult for me to remember that there were (and are) people who lived like that in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. As a result, they spend time worrying about never having enough and the fear of losing what they have.

I have also lived in poverty in the past, but mine was of my own making. It was something I never imagined growing up in an upper middle-class home in the suburbs. The fear and constant looking over my shoulder and harming the very ones I loved was something I never intended, but it became more real as my addiction progressed. I often fail to understand the trauma that comes with poverty forced on someone by birthplace and circumstance. I can’t pretend to know the fear that comes with falling back into such a state. I can, however, be present to the reality of my friend.

I believe that has led to so much introspection over the last few weeks. Most of the fear has been removed through my years of recovery. I’m no longer confused. As Brennan Manning says, “Everything is grace.” I have what I have, not because of my own efforts, but because God has graciously provided enough – enough of life’s necessities so I can share and be of service to those around me. I work hard because I have something to offer the world around me. As such, it’s become much easier to live in the world and to be present.

Photo by Hugo Magalhaes on Pexels.com

Saint Francis said, “Above all the grace and gifts that Christ gives to his beloved is that of overcoming self.” It constantly amazes me when I find joy in driving in rush hour traffic because the bluebonnets and other wildflowers are in full bloom along the side of the freeway. When I let go of who I think I am, both when I have an over-inflated ego or tell myself I’m the scum of the Earth – I’m free to acknowledge what a loving God thinks of me. I see the God lives in everything that surrounds me.

“We have very little, so we have nothing to be preoccupied with. The more you have, the more you are occupied, the less you give. But the less you have, the more free you are.”

– Mother Teresa

As I sit at my desk writing this morning, I have four dogs sleeping all around my feet. Ricky and Lucy – the “twins” have exhausted themselves playing together. Jameson is laid across my feet, most likely keeping me working (I’m afraid to move but my foot’s going to sleep!). Sadie is gently snoring by my side. I’m not sure life will get any better. They remind me constantly that I’m important to them and somehow, it’s a constant reminder that God loves me unconditionally. They remind me that “everything is grace” …

If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count more than birds.

Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller. All this time and money wasted on fashion – do you think it makes much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby beside them.

If God gives such attention to the wildflowers… don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do what’s best for you. What I’m trying to do is get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving… Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your human concerns will be met.”

Matthew 6.27-33 (The Message – Jesus quoted by Eugene Peterson)
Connection, Dogs, Emotional Health, Family, Friendship, Gifts, Grief, Love, Music, Pets, Relationships, Rescue Animals, Respect, Songs, Songwriters, Spirituality, Stories, Writing

Run, Maggie, Run

I came home a little early today to get stuff together for Earth Day at the Health Sciences Center tomorrow. I have a large volunteer group coming and a doctor appointment for Margaret as well. My brain has been running like crazy – at least until a moment ago.

My wife sent me You Tube link (attached below) and the tears have slowed enough to sit down and write.  Every now and then a song comes along that you swear was written for you. Maybe it’s about your life, your loved ones, or your friends, but it’s like the songwriter was inside your head. That’s the case with this one…

My Maggie was a ball of fur that I bottle fed until she ciould eat solid food. Her mother and the rest of the littler were taken to the shelter. She grew into sixty pounds with a beautiful gray merle coat and a raccoon mask across her face. Maggie was half Catahoula and half coyote – rebel was an accurate adjective, and her wild side was endearing to anyone who met her. Squirrels knew better than to set foot in our yard!

Maggie was my dog. She tolerated everyone else, and could even be affectionate toward them, but she loved me, and I loved her. She would curl up beside my desk and follow me everywhere I went – especially if I was going to the kitchen. We learned quickly not to leave anything we intended to eat on the counter. She assumed it was hers – even the birthday cake Margaret made for a friend. Maggie had an incredible radar for food. She could be outside and no matter how quietly I crept into the kitchen she would be sitting there waiting before I had a chance to finish opening whatever I was going to cook or eat.

On the Monday before Thanksgiving last year, she walked in and laid by my feet. I reached down to pet her and noticed her eyes didn’t look right. I knelt and took her head in my hands to love on her. She started to have a seizure and died right there in my hands. She was only five years old. We suspect she had an aneurysm.

I wrapped her in a blanket and gently carried her out to a place by the garden close to wear my Sheltie, Missy, is buried. I cried quietly as I laid her to rest. Sadie, our other rescue was her “sister”. I looked out the window later and saw her sitting and staring at Maggie’s grave.

I’m trying not to get tears on the keyboard as I write this. The last two years have been marked by some devastating losses – my son, my best friend, and others who I came to know and love over the last twenty years or so. Maybe Maggie’s Song will lead me through the grief even if it doesn’t fill the hole in my heart.

Connection, Dogs, Emotional Health, Family, Gifts, Grief, Love, Pets, Rescue Animals, Thoughts From the Porch, Writing

Remembering Maggie

“I want to be the man my dog thinks I am” – Anonymous

I’m not sure how much more I can take. My “Coyotahoula”, Maggie, laid by my side as she breathed her last this morning. She wasn’t feeling well this weekend. She didn’t even come when the microwave beeper went off Saturday, so I knew she was under the weather. She spent Sunday evening curled up next to me at my desk. I thought I’d best take her to the veterinarian on Monday, but she couldn’t wait. She came by my side as I drank my morning coffee and never left. I knew. I laid down on the floor next to her and loved on her as she slowly passed on.

I’ve spent most of the day sad and exhausted. I buried her in the garden near her favorite spot. It probably violates some city code but quite frankly, I don’t care. This is where she belongs. If you’re not a dog person this probably doesn’t seem like a big deal – hey, it’s just a dog – but if you are you know the deep sense of loss that comes with losing your best friend.

We have two other dogs, Jameson (the Opal’s Farm dog!) and Sadie. They know Maggie’s gone. Sadie didn’t even bark at the lawn mower as I rolled it to the front yard. Maggie wasn’t there to bark with her. Some say we anthropomorphize our dogs. Animals are somehow absent human feelings. I’ve watched them all day and seen their sadness and grief and it’s as real as mine. I’m sure that there’s a reason “dog” is “God” spelled backwards.

Maggie keeping an eye on things…

All our dogs are rescues. Maggie was not even weaned when the previous owners took her mother and siblings to the shelter. We managed to rescue Maggie from the pound. Maggie was half coyote and half Catahoula. Her fate was in doubt at the shelter as a hybrid canine. We bottle fed her until she could do solid food. In fact, that’s how she got her name. She would suck on the bottle like Maggie on The Simpsons – the rest is history.

One month old!

Maggie made it quite clear that she was my dog. She was always quite the “daddy’s girl” and intensely jealous of the other two receiving any of my attention without first loving on her. She could sense a peanut jar opening from three rooms away and knew the I would always save a bite for her.

I could go on and on about Maggie. Pet parents know what I mean. I’m embarrassed to admit that I have as many, if not more, pictures of Maggie than I do my grandkids. Maggie, Jameson, and Sadie became our kids. Dogs are family and spoiled family members at that!

Maggie’s passing brought up all the loss of the last year-and-a-half, especially when it comes to my son Jeremy. He used to tease me all the time about how he was going to steal Maggie. He constantly tried to get me to let him have her. I’m not surprised. Maggie and Jeremy had a lot in common.

In fact, Maggie was my “Jeremy”. She had the same streak of wildness and freedom that Jeremy had ever since he was a baby. She was often too smart for her own good just as he was. She was independent, stubborn, and as sweet as he was. I think she made his passing a bit more tolerable. She always reminded me of him. I’d like to think they’re running around together today…

Today I lost my dog. It’s another reminder of the continual losses since this pandemic began – even when COVID isn’t responsible. I’ve lost my son, my best friend, and other folks that I miss daily. I guess Maggie brought it all to a head. Grief is a bitch…