Category: Choices

Children, Choices, Consequences, Emotional Health, Family, Generations, Grandchildren, Grief, Recovery, Relationships, Storytelling, Thoughts From the Porch, What Can I Do, Writing

The Way It Was…

gregoryjoel

It’s hard to believe September is already here. Labor Day is the unofficial beginning of Fall so the temperatures here have dropped to the nineties instead of the triple digits and we might even celebrate Labor Day with some rain. I’m hoping but it is Texas after all…

I haven’t written much lately. The heat and oppressive humidity dulled the thinking, and work has taken all the energy I may have. Getting out of sweat-soaked clothes and laying in front of the air conditioning has been norm the last month or so. It’s also the end of our fiscal year at work so evenings are filled with year-end reports and audits. It’s rare to stay awake through the ten pm weather report but that’s okay. The forecast doesn’t change in August. It’s just going to be hot and dry.

My youngest grandkids started school in the middle of last month. Things have changed since I was young. The school year started the day after Labor Day and ended the day before Memorial Day. We didn’t have Monday holidays, so we celebrated them on whatever day of the week they fell on. It seems a bit cruel to send kids back to school while the swimming pools are still open, but I digress…

I have had the privilege of picking my grandkids up from school for a couple of years now. My oldest, Baillie, is working in Alaska, but both of the others are in high school, although they attend different schools. Lucas is close enough to walk to and from Pascal High School where he’s a freshman this year. I get to pick him up on the days he stays late.

Izabella was accepted into the Visual Performing Arts program at I.M. Terrell Academy, which is only two minutes away from the farm. I.M. Terrell was the black high school for many years in Fort Worth when schools were still segregated. Moreover, it’s Ms. Opal Lee’s alma mater. She’s thrilled that Iza is there. It hasn’t hurt Iza that her father works for Terrell’s most famous alumnus.

I’m reminded daily how much I love my grandkids and how much I miss their father. He would (and I’m sure that on another plane he is) be so proud of them. I hope he would be proud of me as well for being there for them. I often wasn’t there for him when he was that age. Addiction has stolen so much from us. It stole both my son’s father and my grandkid’s father. The only difference is that I get the opportunity to make living amends. Jeremy, my son, lost that opportunity on May 29th, 2020.

It’s been four years since he passed. His car still sits in my driveway: another daily reminder that I keep meaning to get to someone else, but still find hard to let go of. Grief has its own timeline. While the daily intensity of the emotion has lessened to a point, there are still days when I retreat by myself to the end of the farm to have a good cry. I don’t feel as overwhelmed as I did in the months after his death, but I still grieve. I know grief’s a process and I’m told by others that have lost children that it doesn’t ever go away. It simply changes.

I have a fellow blogger friend, Mitch, who shares his real memoirs from time to time. I enjoy reading them. I’ve often thought I should share my own stories in some way. Jeremy once told me that he and I should write a book. “Dad, no one would believe that crazy shit”, he’d tell me. Life was certainly not dull, at least outwardly. As my own addiction progressed, life became an extremely dull routine of using, finding ways and means to get more, and repeating the process over and over with greater consequences and self-hatred.

Jeremy and I found a way out and shared that path for several years until he ventured down his own path that included relapsing into active addiction. I stayed on the recovery pathway and prayed that Jeremy would join me once again. He did from time to time but couldn’t seem to stay. I miss him terribly.

I thought that maybe I too, should share some stories – crazy as they may be – in hopes that someone relates and maybe, just maybe, it can make a difference in their journey as I’m sure it will in mine. I still don’t know what to call them. It would be inappropriate to call them my “real memoir” – don’t want to step on anyone’s toes – but they are real and definitely a time of remembering. Maybe writing will ease the grief and make some sense out of the craziness.

Look for them from time to time and pray to keep me honest. One of my favorite lines from a recovery book I read frequently is that “Honesty is the antidote to our diseased thinking”.

Maybe the stories will reflect that…

Activism, Choices, Community, Events, Faith, Food Equality, Food Insecurity, Food Justice, Marginalized, Neighbors, Non-Profits, Opal's Farm, Public Policy, Service Organizations, Social Justice, Thoughts From the Porch, Unity Unlimited, Inc., Urban Farming

Rain, Rain, Don’t Go Away – Just Come Less Frequently

gregoryjoel

It’s raining once again so that means it must be Sunday. I am so grateful for the rain – the plants at the farm love it – but it can be a mixed blessing. I have the rest of the Spring planting to do before it gets too hot! Then again, I got to take a nap this afternoon…

This has been another great week at Opal’s Farm. We’d love to thank the Bank of America volunteers that came out Wednesday. I was in Fayetteville, Arkansas for the Growing Hope conference and was amazed when I came home to see the work that had been done. Thanks to Stacey and Joey for all their hard work and making the volunteer event a great day.

As I mentioned, I was at the Growing Hope conference hosted by the National Center for Appropriate Technology (NCAT) in Fayetteville this week. It was an excellent conference reminding (and teaching) us of the importance of what we do as farmers and folks trying to change our local food systems.

I toured two different non-profit farms, Cobblestone Farms and Apple Seeds, and learned of our common mission to fight food insecurity and educate others – especially our kids – about healthy growing and real nutrition.

I also spoke with an amazing group of farmers and activists about the fight for food justice – not just food access and food security – but the justice that gives everyone a seat at the table (both literally and figuratively) to create safe, equitable local food systems. I’d love to give a shout out to all the folks at NCAT who put the conference together. It was one of the best conferences I’ve had the privilege of attending – full of new ideas and re-energizing me for the fight for food justice and equity.

Choices, Community, Connection, Down On the Farm, Emotional Health, Events, Family, Farmers Markets, Food Equality, Food Justice, Gratitude, Health, Neighbors, Opal's Farm, Regeneration, Service to Others, Simplicity, Spirituality, Summer, Thoughts From the Porch, Unity Unlimited, Inc., Urban Farming

Shop Local!

gregoryjoel

Greetings from Opal’s Farm. We will not be at Cowtown Farmers Market this week. The busy Spring planting season came to a bit of a halt this morning. The rain that came in overnight has been great for the farm and not so great for “being under the weather” physically. We will be there next Saturday morning and hate missing the Spring Festival this weekend. Bring your umbrellas and join the fun at Cowtown Farmers Market today!

I can’t stand to miss our family and friends at the market. Over the last five years, Cowtown Farmers Market has truly become family. It’s the highlight of my week. There’s something special about our market and the farmers and vendors who come each week to bring fresh local produce, meats, honey, and all kinds of other local products. I’ve learned so much from the knowledge freely shared by the farmers and friends there.

I grew up in Fort Worth but spent many days at my Uncle Carl’s ranch in South Texas or my Uncle Roof’s dairy farm up towards Boyd. I tend to be more of a carnivore when it comes to diet. That remained the case until I came to Cowtown. You see, Cowtown is unlike the way most folks shop for groceries. People actually stop and talk to one another. No avoiding hurried and harried people with shopping carts and frustration with checkout lines. You won’t find one self-checkout stand at the market; although people may line up because one of our farmers has something special that week (especially when peaches, tomatoes, and blueberries come in).

Photo by Nuzul Arifa on Pexels.com

I’m no vegetarian, nor am I knocking those who are. I still love meat, but Cowtown helped me broaden my food experience. Customers have shared their many ways to cook the fresh produce we bring to market each week and I’ve tried them all (well, most of them anyway). I’ve incorporated many of their recipes into my diet. I even like greens now (except for kale – you all like it so we’ll keep growing it for you – I’m not there yet…).

I hope you will all head out to Cowtown Farmers Market on Saturday mornings. Get to know our local farmers and vendors. Cowtown is a producer-only market. All the farms are within a 150-mile radius of Fort Worth. Everything is truly local. No one is a reseller – getting their produce from a distributor or wholesaler. In other words, we don’t have field tomatoes in January or Brussell Sprouts in August. Learning to eat what’s in season is not only respecting the Earth’s rhythms but benefits overall health as well.

Food is one thing we all have in common. It is to be savored and enjoyed by family and friends and so should shopping for it!

Activism, Belief, Choices, Community, Democracy, Faith, Grace, Hope, Love, Neighbors, Service to Others, Spirituality, Thoughts From the Porch, What Can I Do

What’s Really There…

gregoryjoel

It’s a fantastic late winter/early spring (depending on whether you use the meteorological or the Spring Equinox calendar) day here in North Texas. I’m still reeling from the time change to Daylight Savings. It always gets me no matter how hard I try to plan for it. I’m just tired and don’t want to do much of anything so here I sit on this beautiful afternoon, drinking coffee, and feeling somewhat guilty I’m not out at the farm. Not yet anyway…

I took time to read a bit and catch a couple of lectures in my schoolwork. One of the articles I read was by one of my favorite authors and bloggers, John Pavlovitz. You can find him at https://johnpavlovitz.com/  I got turned on to him several years ago and when he started a social media network for people who still give a damn about things like empathy, compassion, and loving our neighbor I jumped to join. It’s a wonderful community of like-minded but unique individuals who come together to share about politics, organized religion, racial justice, activism and social justice, among many  other things.

Photo by ATC Comm Photo on Pexels.com

It gives me hope that people are still committed to loving our neighbors and the common good. That’s in short supply these days if you listen to the media and the extremists who tend to be much louder than most folks, that is. I choose to believe that most people aren’t filled with so much hate and vitriol as the far-right, the White Christian Nationalists, or the radical left for that matter. The media eats it up though. Extremism sells…

I would highly recommend John’s work to any of my fellows who believe the God is love, the Good News is just that, – Good News – and want to follow some good direction on just being a decent person. Love you guys!

Bad Weather, Choices, Climate Change, Community, Connection, Creation, Down On the Farm, Events, Family, Farmers Markets, Goodness, Grace, Gratitude, Hope, Letting Go, Marginalized, Non-Profits, Opal's Farm, Pets, Positive Thinking, Prayer, Preparation, Regeneration, Relationships, Rescue Animals, Service Organizations, Service to Others, Spirituality, Texas, Thoughts From the Porch, Trinity River, Unity Unlimited, Inc., Urban Farming

Burrrr…

gregoryjoel

The scene beyond my window is rather drab. A blast of cold Arctic air exploded across North Texas yesterday afternoon. It brought with it the cutting icy North wind that plagues the Southern plains every winter. The “feels like” temperatures this morning were in the single digits and they’re predicting eighty-plus hours below freezing and sleet for this evening. Folks in these parts are understandably nervous. Ice brings out the worst in Texas drivers and the memory of Winter Storm Uri in 2021 is still fresh to anyone who lived here then. The power grid crashed, Texans went for days without power and water, and 246 people died from storm-related issues.

Last year saw a major ice storm at the end of January. We were at the Texas Organic Farmers and Gardeners Association Conference in Dallas and left early because of the roads. One of our employees ended up staying at the motel that night. One night turned into a week. Texans do not do well in cold weather. It doesn’t storm often but when it does look out!

Fortunately, we’ve had ample time to prepare for this Arctic visitor. Store shelves are empty of non-perishables and bottled water. Gas tanks are full and homes lucky enough to have a generator are standing by. People take the weather forecast a bit more seriously since the winter of ’21.

( Opal’s Farm and the frozen Trinity River February 2021 )

Personally, I haven’t had much time to prepare our house. I still must make a run to Home Depot. My neighbor said they had some outdoor faucet covers hidden in the back of the store. Information like that is like finding gold. We try to take care of each other in our neighborhood. I have, however, taken steps to prepare Opal’s Farm the best we can to save our winter crops. Frost cloth has been double-spread on the bio-intensive section and several of the hundred-foot rows. Prayers have been said, fingers have been crossed, and if I had a rabbit’s foot, I’m sure I’d be holding it close. We’ll keep you posted…

On a lighter, and somewhat warmer note (it was cool but warmer yesterday), we moved Opal’s Farm Stand hours to Saturday afternoons from 1:30 PM to 4:00 PM. We found his to be more convenient for our neighbors and the traffic on Sylvania isn’t rushing between jobs. We had several customers yesterday afternoon. This complements our mornings at Cowtown Farmers Market and our delivery for Hao’s Grocery and Café. We can harvest once a week to bring quality fresh produce to our community.

Anyway…

My fur-babies don’t seem to be bothered by the single-digit temperatures. They are out running around and playing as I sit here. Sitting here watching them got me to thinking about this blog. I’ve always called it “Thoughts From the Porch” because that was the place my thoughts and coffee ran freely since this journey began. I no longer spend my mornings on the front porch. It’s not because it’s cold. When you smoke it really doesn’t matter if it’s the summer Texas heat or the winter freeze, you’re driven to suffer outside.

However, that changed on November 1st of last year. That’s the day I quit smoking. I’ve been cigarette-less since then. The cravings have become less severe most of the time. The operative word being “most”. Other days – not so much. Staying off the porch has been a good move so here I sit. I still get a good view of the world through the patio door next to my office. It’s a constant reminder of God’s goodness and grace in our lives.

Maybe it’s time to find another name for this? Let me know your thoughts!

Please stay warm and safe through this cold snap. Stay inside, make it a family day or a day of introspection. Enjoy the time and pray the lights don’t go out…