It’s been an interesting Spring at Opal’s Farm. I’ve been busier than a one-armed paper hanger as my uncle used to say.
For one thing, I received a letter from the Social Security Administration this week. It said I’ve reached the age where I am now considered retired. I have to laugh when I realize Ms. Opal “retired” the year after I graduated high school. If that’s what retirement looks like, then I’m grateful for it. It means I can focus on loving and serving others full-time just like her. At ninety-eight, she reminds me that she just keeps running forward so the good Lord can’t catch her to take her home. Besides, there’s so much more to do. Especially now…
The other thing that happened is a little less humorous. My left knee blew out on me last Wednesday as I was putting tools away for the day. That wouldn’t have been unusual as it tends to happen now that I’m old enough to suffer the consequences of an overactive youth. This time was different. It didn’t stop hurting the next day and the pain was in a different part of my knee and increasing rather than decreasing. I decided Friday afternoon I had better go to the ER and have it checked out.
Fortunately, nothing is broken, but since X-rays don’t show cartilage or ligament damage, I’ll be seeing the orthopedic surgeon this week. Moreover, the ER doc said I had a lot of arthritis, and the next step was a knee replacement. I feared that might be the case. I guess I’ll find out this week. It’s a pretty big bump in the road.
He also told me to take steroids and pain medicine, wear the immobilizer, use the crutches, and stay off my knee for a few days. I can take medication. I can use the immobilizer most of the time. I can even use the crutches sometimes. However, for a farmer four days of bed rest isn’t possible this time of year. My doctor and I have an agreement – I don’t tell him how to practice medicine and he doesn’t tell me how to farm.
I went market and “Taste the C.U.R.E” class yesterday. If people ask me what happened I simply tell the truth – I got older!
I guess there’s more news to come and a lot of decisions to be made. I’ll just hobble along and work on the farm until then. I’m going to be much slower so I’m extra grateful for the volunteers we have right now. Spring is the busiest time of year for farmers and Opal’s is no exception. The farm still needs daily care. I’ll be there as long as the good Lord lets me, but we need extra volunteer help right now. Please think of us if you have a little spare time and want to get you’re hands dirty. After all, dirt don’t hurt.
I was driving home on I-30 from the farm last Tuesday. Tiny spots of blue caught my attention as I sat in the rush-hour traffic. They were the first Bluebonnets I’ve seen this year. The frustration from the slow-moving traffic vanished; replaced by a sudden desire to pull off to the side of the interstate and take a picture.
Bluebonnets are the state flower of Texas and rightly so. They announce that Spring is finally here and will soon blanket the side of roadways and highways in a carpet of blue. The other wildflowers – Indian Paintbrush, Winecup, Mexican Hat, Indian Blanket, Evening Primrose, etc. – will soon paint the roadsides of the highways and country roads in vibrant reds, oranges, yellows, and of course, blues. Bluebonnets always lay the foundation for nature’s paintbrush.
Families will soon be pulling off the road to take pictures of the family amidst the field of color. This is a annual Texas tradition. I often wonder if photographers consider this one of their busy seasons. The only sad part is that family photographs often leave matted-down holes in the blue-hued fields.
I really needed the Bluebonnets this year. The experts at the Ladybird Johnson Wildflower Center predicted a mixed wildflower season this year because of the drought facing West Texas. Winter was relatively mild. Even a muted wildflower season reminds me why resilience is one of our core values at Opal’s Farm.
The craziness and in both Austin (our state legislature is in session) and Washington D.C. makes for an uncertain future for many non-profits like ours and small farmers everywhere. I’ve had to take a break from the news lately except for local news stations and that’s mostly for the weather reports. It doesn’t mean that I plan to bury my head in the sand. It simply means there is more time to see the Bluebonnets, to enjoy Spring, and get lots of food out to folks. Opal’s Farm, like the Bluebonnets, will keep growing food, loving people, and building community.
Happy New Year to you all! I find this a time of reflection on the past year and look forward toward the new one. I haven’t been in the best place emotionally during the holidays since my son passed away four-and-a-half years ago (he was born on Christmas Day), so reflection comes much easier this time of year. If there is anything positive about grief is that it makes reflection more honest.
If I’m honest, 2024 was a difficult year. It really doesn’t apply to the farm – we’re having record year. I have been blessed to have found two good men to be part of our mission and I give all the credit to their independent thinking, hard work, and new ideas. I’ve been able to let go of several work things because I have good people to help me walk this path together. It’s been my personal life that has been difficult. Difficulties seem to be directly tied the growth rates – the more growth that occurs, the greater the degree of difficulty. Actually, come to think of it, it’s not the changes growth brings that bring on the difficulty, but my resistance to the changes.
Most of the time I’m a pretty levelheaded, compassionate, person: at least that’s what people tell me. The Golden Rule has become a guidepost for most of my interactions with people, but I found myself holding folks to a set of unrealistic expectations. Experience has taught me that whenever I place expectations on others, I’m bound to be disappointed.
However, take the expectations away and people will be people. They’ll make decisions that baffle me (the election of the Great Pumpkin) and they certainly won’t change when I want them to. People are unintentionally uncooperative. I don’t get it, but then again, I don’t have to get it. Reality often conflicts with idealism. Maybe that’s the problem – I’m just too idealistic.
If you’re like me, the pendulum swings both ways (balance is the beam I trip on while running between extremes), and suddenly I find myself letting go of idealism and grabbing onto an unflattering picture of reality. That picture is most often accompanied by a sense of self-righteousness, self-absorption, and self-centeredness. I’m blessed to have been given the tools to see this much more quickly and return to the idealism I hated just a moment ago…
Idealism isn’t necessarily negative though. I like being idealistic. It’s not seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, boundless optimism, and being disconnected from reality like I’ve always been told. It’s seeing the world as it is, with all its ugliness and human failures and yet choosing to see the world as it could be. I think that’s what Jesus meant when he said, “unless you become like the little children you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven”.
I can’t count the times I heard “you’ll grow out of your idealism and begin to see how things really are”, “there’s no place for idealism, it just isn’t reality”, or you’re such a Pollyanna”. I have to admit I’ve even used those words myself – usually as a defense for acting in opposition to my deep-seated values about right and wrong. Now I see this anti-idealism sentiment for what it is – a denial that there is indeed a Kingdom of Heaven. Perhaps that’s a part of what Dietrich Bonhoeffer called “cheap grace” and a willingness to carry on as a citizen of the world rather than the Kingdom of God while claiming grace for one’s self.
Jesus instructed His followers to pray for “your (God’s) kingdom come, your will be done on Earth as it is in heaven”. Nowhere did he say I can be a part of the world’s mechanics with all the division, selfishness, and false patriotism. He asked that we bring the Kingdom of God to Earth and what is the Kingdom of God but the ideal state – a place of justice, goodness, compassion, empathy, and love. So, where does that leave me?
I must return to a childlike faith that recognizes all is grace and a dependency on God. When my boys were little, they depended on me as their father for everything. That’s been the goal of my life today. I’ve spent the last few weeks wondering how I’m going to deal with the consequences of the November 5th election. It’s the same way I would act had the outcome been different – trust my Father and act accordingly.
In twelve step programs the idea of prayer is limited to praying “only knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” He makes his will clear – “love God with all your heart, mind, and soul and love your neighbor as yourself.” Seems like pretty simple, childlike instructions to me. It’s not about what other people do (which I can never understand anyway), but about what I do.
I don’t get to choose who I show love and kindness to. Quite frankly, I’m always a bit amazed when simply loving (and acting like it!) someone despite their often “unlovableness” can bring about unexpected results. It also means standing up for those bullied by the world: the marginalized and left behind. It means action.
I’m not sure what 2025 will bring. Many of my friends dread the New Year and the shitstorm that’s likely to come with it, especially after the election results of November 5th. I was angry for a couple of days and probably grieved a couple of more until I figured out it’s just the same way the world and all its powers and principalities have always worked. It doesn’t change a thing for an idealist who will continue to get up, get busy, and do what they did the day before – love God and love others. Everything else will take care of itself, and don’t forget, grow up to be a kid…
“Don’t worry about being effective. Just concentrate on being faithful to the truth.” – Dorothy Day
Here it is the middle of December, and I can’t quite remember when my last post was. Much has transpired since then – Margaret has had her neck surgery and after a two week stay in a rehabilitation facility, is finally home for the holidays. She’s well on her way to recovery. I missed having her here with me. I missed feeling her presence even when I’m out in the yard or at my desk and she’s in another room. There’s something calming about being able to walk into the living room and see the love of my life. I’m truly blessed by her presence and love.
My step kid moved out at the end of November. It wasn’t the most amicable situation, but Margaret and I know it was best for all concerned. I’ve come home to happy puppies (okay, more big dogs than puppies) each day. The atmosphere of peace has returned to my home after several years of feeling like I was walking on eggshells, never knowing when a simple remark might be taken as major trauma. You can’t argue with someone else’s perception of reality, no matter what reality might be. I just look at both MAGA acolytes and those on the far left to see how flawed perceptions deepen the divide between us all. (to be continued)
November 13th was World Kindness Day. It obviously fell into the Black Hole of business that has marked the last couple of weeks. Imagine my relief when they said that World Kindness Day is to be celebrated through November 18th. Kindness is always right on time…
What a better way to celebrate the day than to take the counsel of Mr. Rogers (Fres Rogers of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood fame):
gregoryjoel.com 