Gratitude – Page 47 – gregoryjoel.com

Awe, Bible, Birthdays, Christianity, Connection, Emotional Health, Faith, Family, Gratitude, Honor, Love, Marriage, Peace, Prayer, Recovery, Serenity, Simplicity, Spirituality, Thoughts From the Porch, Weddings, Writing

Honor Your Wife…

April 6, 2019 gregoryjoel

Thoughts From the Porch: A line of thunderstorms is knocking on our door this morning. The wind, called an outflow boundary, is the precursor to the storm that will barge in any second. Jamison the Farm Dog is huddled beneath my feet, making writing difficult by distancing my fingers from the keyboard. Thunderstorms are anathema to him. He pants and paces or hides under my desk to escape the noise. All I can do is reassure him we’ve got it taken care of and we’d never let anything harm our Jameson.

Today is Margaret’s birthday. Please join me in wishing my beautiful wife a very happy birthday. I think of myself as one of the most blessed men in the world. It can’t be easy being married to me, although Margaret tells me constantly that I’m not difficult. Some days I’m not so sure. I find myself preoccupied with the daily goings-on of life and fail to stop and enjoy the company of the best woman I know.

Sometimes I’ll be out and hear other people talk about their difficulty in relationships. It makes me want to run home and kiss my wife and tell her how much I love her. I realize what a gift she is in my life. Our marriage isn’t perfect by any means. We each have our little idiosyncrasies that cause friction. I’m acutely aware of mine, but to be honest, I can’t think of any of Margaret’s. I’m sure they are present. They all seem to fade away when I’m with her.

I used to think that wasn’t normal, that our relationship was too comfortable. I’d hear others speak of their struggles in their marriage or cohabitation. People would talk about how much work their relationship. Everyone talked about “working” out their marriage. Maybe we were doing something wrong because, quite frankly, I can count on less than one hand the number of issues we’ve had to deal with over the years. I’m sure that they each centered around miscommunication or misunderstanding.

I used to believe we were an anomaly, a blip on the screen that couldn’t be explained. I thought there was no way anyone would believe how good our marriage was (and there may not be…). However, I’ve observed the marriages of our friends and acquaintances, and I’ve seen first hand we’re not so different after all.

There seems to be one or two constants throughout them all. The first one is the one my friend Jim told me about. Many years ago, he asked me if I knew what honor was. The Good Book says to “honor your wife”. What does it mean? I offered the proper dictionary definition and he laughed. He said that was nice but didn’t come close. The real definition was… and he drew in a quick, deep breath. I waited patiently for him to add his definition, but he just sat there, silent.

“Come on Jim. What’s your definition of honor?”

He again inhaled sharply, “h-h-h-h-h” and fell silent. I was beginning to get a bit perturbed and asked again to which he gave the same reply. Now I was ticked off.

I guess he sensed my aggravation because he looked me square in the eye, took another deep breath, and said “that’s what honor is”.

I sat there a bit perplexed. He went on to explain that honor was seeing your wife walk in the room and she takes your breath away. It wasn’t until years later that I really understood what he meant.

Fast forward to March 2^nd, 2013 and Jim’s definition of honor became crystal clear. I was standing in front of many family and friends next to my Best Man, Edgar, with my brother Craig, the pastor for the day. Everyone stood and turned to watch Margaret start her walk down the aisle. She was radiant in her wedding dress, her face beaming. I inhaled sharply and deeply. She took my breath away…

Fast forward again to April 6^th, 2019. Margaret walks in the room and she still takes my breath away. I can’t believe I am married to such an incredible woman. I want to honor her in every way possible. What surprises me is the honor she bestows on me. She makes me a better man.

I’m no marriage counselor but what I know for certain is that honoring my wife is easy. As a result, our marriage is easy as well. If we are an anomaly, then so be it. I could spend the rest of my life being different…

So, I wish my wife an unbelievably Happy Birthday. I look forward to sharing many more. I’m not confused my dear – you truly are “my better side” (I hate “half” as we were complete when we joined together) and my best friend. Today I honor you and wish for you a beautiful, joy-filled birthday!

Aging, Business, Choices, Communication, Community, Connection, Conservation, Creation, Dogs, Donations, Emotional Health, Environment, Faith, Fighting Poverty, Food Deserts, Food Insecurity, Friendship, Gardening, Gratitude, Health, Immunology, Neighbors, Non-Profits, Nutrition, Opal's Farm, Plowing, Practice, Preparation, Relationships, Service Organizations, Service to Others, Simplicity, Spirituality, Spring, Unity Unlimited, Inc., Urban Farming, Wellness, What Can I Do, Writing

Finding Your Why Down on the Farm: Part One

April 5, 2019 gregoryjoel

“Simpler solutions are more likely to be correct than complex ones.” – Occam’s Razor

Do you ever get so busy with a project that you overlook the bedrock of its success? Things have been moving quickly at Opal’s Farm: over 30,00 square feet of beds have been prepared and compost is coming. We are busy! We’ve been blessed with good Spring weather and we hope to take advantage of every moment to prepare the acreage for a bountiful harvest.

Jameson the Farm Dog takes a much needed break!

However, one of the TCU students working with us this semester sent me an email that brought me to a grinding halt (by the way, thank you Paris!) She asked a simple question, “Why?”. Why would someone want to volunteer at the Farm? Why would someone want to be a sponsor, a partner, or a “farmer” at Opal’s Farm?

Even as passionate as I am about Opal’s Farm, I had to stop and think hard about the question. In my work as a writer, it’s my job to write a clear concise message and show how a product or service will benefit others. If I’m honest, I’ve done a poor job of communicating that to you. I ask for your forgiveness. Sometimes the simplest question is the simplest solution…

There’s a plethora of reasons one should join us in the task at hand. When Paris asked me the “why” question was specifically regarding “why volunteer?”, so we’ll start there.

Reason #1:

Why volunteer at Opal’s Farm? The simple answer: it’s “Dirt Therapy”. What do I mean by that? If you love to tend your own garden, you know exactly what I mean. Something happens to us when we work with the soil. Study after study has shown improved mental health and relaxation are some of the immediate benefits. The increased physical activity and its benefits are obvious, but “dirt therapy” is something, something deeper.

According to The Immune Advantage (Ellen Mazo and the Editors of Prevention Health Books with Keith Berndtson, M.D.), “a simple gardening project at the University of Texas in Galveston produced uplifting findings among 24 volunteers ranging in age from 63 to 90” that included not only an overall feeling of well-being” but a far deeper spiritual component; one of community.

The book goes on to share the story of Dr. William Thomas, M.D. and founder of the Eden Alternative. He “has proof that people live healthier and longer with daily access to plants, animals, and children”. In the 300-plus nursing homes across the country that follow his program allowing residents their own pets, till their own gardens, and participate in programs with children… residents have fewer infections, fewer falls, and fewer skin wounds”. Moreover, the amount of medication each resident required dropped.

Something happens when people work the earth together, sharing stories and childhood memories. A feeling of well-being and contentment feeling of well-being, of a spiritual connection, takes place. Moreover, the UT-Galveston study showed that “there was no physical decline among the volunteers after 4 months”. Working the soil may not be the proverbial “Fountain of Youth”, but it sure helps.

“Dirt Therapy” is an amazing reason to come down to the farm and join us. We’ll be posting “work days” and someone is usually at Opal’s Farm daily except for Wednesday. We love our volunteers and want to be as flexible as possible to meet varied schedules. It’s always best to call ahead so we’ll be looking for you. The south end of the farm offered the best soil available so we’re often away from the front office/storage container at the north end. If you’d like to schedule a group or simply show up on your own, please know you’re welcome and appreciated!

As I mentioned before, there’s a myriad of reasons “why” you should be a part of Opal’s Farm – far too many to write about here so I’ll be following up with reason number two on Monday. I bet your “why” is on the list…

Acceptance, Awe, Bible, Business, Christianity, Community, Emotional Health, Faith, Grace, Gratitude, Love, Marriage, Opal's Farm, Peace, Prayer, Preparation, Recovery, Relationships, Serenity, Service to Others, Simplicity, Spirituality, Spring, Stories, Thoughts From the Porch, Transformation, Uncategorized, What Can I Do, Work, Writing

Obituaries…

April 2, 2019 gregoryjoel

Thoughts From the Porch: After putting the brakes on Spring for a couple of days we’re returning to normal here in North Texas. The sun is shining, temperatures are far more Spring-like and my time on the porch was punctuated by competing bird songs and a woodpecker in the closest tree. The bluebonnets are gathering force with the other wildflowers waiting in reserve to make April a month of vibrant color. All is well in our corner of the world.

An article in the Daily Good (you can read the article at https://www.good.is/articles/mean-obituary-daughter?utm_source=thedailygood&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=dailygood ) caught my eye this morning. Whenever I see “brutal honesty” in a headline I must click it and see. Honesty is rare these days, and brutal honesty is usually code for hateful opinions. I had to laugh at someone getting the last word in with one’s obituary. While some may find such an obituary inappropriate, I hope whoever writes mine when the time comes will tell the truth – good and bad – and will get both a good laugh and a new respect for the grace given so freely.

Several years ago, I remember an assignment I was given by my mentor and friend, Jim. He told me to write my own obituary. Then write it from the perspective of a family member or friend. Finally, write it like someone who knew little about me. (I want to note that this little assignment came from a speaker he had heard many years ago, but I don’t remember which one. This wasn’t unique to him and I sure don’t want to take credit away from the originator.) The one thing he asked was that I be brutally honest with myself in how each was written.

The bottom line was how I see myself, how does my family see me, and how does the world see me. Jim was always big on introspection. He would always tell me “self-examination coupled with prayer and meditation produces favorable results”. I wasn’t too happy with the results at the time. Fast forward the clock a few years and the exercise became a lot easier and far more friendly for me.

I made a lot of mistakes. Scratch that (brutal honesty, remember?). I hurt a lot of people: myself, my family, and everyone I met through my selfishness and self-centeredness. Even when I was “doing good” it was usually to manipulate others and meet my own desires. The process of looking inward and being honest with myself revealed the real me – not the “me” I wanted to be and sure not how I wanted to be remembered.

As I’ve grown older, I still go back to the assignment Jim gave me periodically. I try to keep stock of myself daily. Periodically, I need to go through a full-blown inventory and take stock of my life. Now that I’m “in the last quarter of the game”, as my friend Gary says, I’ve become more aware of the legacy I leave. I believe others see me far differently from before. I know I’m not the same man as I was when I started this process. I trust that others see me far differently as well. I still make mistakes and have failures, but they no longer define who (or who’s) I am.

Professionally, I worked many years as a Process Manager and Engineer building process improvement teams and finding ways to increase productivity for the companies I worked for. Writing and revisiting my own obituary has been “process improvement” for my life. It goes on today…

I’ve been blessed with the “favorable results” Jim always promised. I was fortunate to find a life of service to others. It’s the nature of what I do today, both as a writer and as the Farm Manager for Opal’s Farm. I ‘get’ to have a wonderful marriage, a loving family, and good friends. I ‘get’ to sit on the porch each morning and think about the amazing world I live in. I ‘get’ to say thank you to my Creator constantly for the grace I’ve received. I say ‘get to’ because it’s an opportunity I never had while wrapped up in self-centered blindness.

Each day is a new opportunity to rewrite my obituary, to leave a legacy of love and a servant spirit for my family, friends and community. I don’t think I could ask for more so maybe I’ll keep doing what I’m doing.

I’d urge each of you to take on the same assignment. If you already have then please share your results with me!

Belief, Bible, Christianity, Community, Faith, Grace, Gratitude, Jesus, Peace, Prayer, Recovery, Relationships, Self-Acceptance, Serenity, Spirituality, Thoughts From the Porch, Transformation, Writing

Thoughts on Grace

March 29, 2019 gregoryjoel

Thoughts From the Porch: Wednesday is my busy day, especially at the end of the month. I have a group meeting every Wednesday morning and try to schedule as many meetings as possible on that day, so I have more time available at Opal’s Farm the rest of the week. The last Wednesday of the month is the Grow Southeast meeting and a chance to work with other urban farms and growers.

Our Wednesday morning meeting, Fort Worth Development Group, is a group seeking to “bridge the gap between ministry and business through cultivating meaningful relationships in the workplace: allowing our character and integrity tom minister God’s love to others through our daily business practices.”

I attended the first time thinking it was another ‘networking’ group. Networking does take place. That tends to happen whenever business people are gathered together. However, it’s far more than that. That’s why it’s a development group. Each quarter we have a theme that guides our speaking and discussions. This quarter that theme has been gratitude. The coming quarter will be on grace. It seems you can’t really have one without the other. Grace and gratitude have this whole “chicken and egg” thing going on. I’m not always positive which came first…

Next week, I’ll be delivering the ‘Hot Topic’ on grace. I’ve submitted a title and catchy tagline for my talk (after all, business appreciates good content). It’s called “Simply Grace – 100% natural with no additives”. I have about 15 to 20 minutes to speak on grace. One of the most difficult things I’ve done is try to squeeze grace into 20 minutes. I have a newfound respect for the preachers I’ve heard speak on the subject. God forbid they go past 20 to 30 minutes and make their worshippers late for lunch…

I’ve spent a lot of time preparing for next week. I’ve finally managed to get my ideas within the time limit but believe me, it hasn’t been easy because everything in my life; every action, every deed, and every experience is about grace.

The older I get and the deeper my relationship with God becomes the more I realize just how much grace I’ve received. My successes and my failures have taught me that grace is enough, and everything is grace – “an unmerited gift”.

Some of you know exactly where I’m coming from. Experience has taught me that a simple prayer, “God, help me”, opens the door to receive the grace that was waiting there all along. Ironically, it was grace that my prayer possible. I couldn’t even muster up the strength to do that on my own.

Life has since become a process of learning to accept the grace I’ve been so freely given. Gratitude, the natural consequence of accepting and living a “grace-full” life. Gratitude makes it easier to set aside old mental tapes and put to death the tired, old lie of self-sufficiency. I see clearly the importance of my fellows and the value of each and every individual I meet. Through gratitude I’m able to share the grace that was so freely given to me.

That’s not to say that I still don’t have my moments: moments when all thought of God’s marvelous gift of grace takes a backseat to my worries and problems. I have moments of self-absorption and self-centered expectations, of myself and others. I still have times when I feel woefully inadequate and undeserving of grace. I always seem to come around though. You see, I am undeserving of God’s grace (Heck, I’m undeserving of grace from most people if I’m honest about it). There is absolutely nothing I can do to earn it. If it could be earned, it wouldn’t be grace. Funny how that works…

I’m fortunate to have daily reminders of God’s grace. I have an amazing family. I get to work with some truly awesome people in my business and with Opal’s Farm. I’m not confused by these reminders. I surely didn’t deserve them. Quite frankly, I’m in awe that I’m even still around. Self-care was not something I was big on until late in life. Some of you know what I mean. I’ve heard it said that God has a big heart for kids and fools. I often fall into the latter category, in case you’re wondering.